We’ve been covering a lot of these sorts of scams here on the SoBros Network and SoBros Power Hour Podcast for years now, but there’s always a new one that comes out that just blows me away. This sort of shit exposes just how genius and opportunistic criminals can be. So, just wanted to say – quick shoutout to criminals for keeping the world interesting.
Courtesy of the Hindustan Times – “A family in Bangladesh has been arrested after using a fake penis to trick villagers into believing a genie had performed a sex change on their teenage daughter, police said Wednesday.
Villagers in southern Bangladesh rushed to the family’s home seeking miracle cures after hearing the genie had changed the girl’s sex and performed a circumcision as proof.
Okay – so quick question right off the bat here, and I think it’s pretty important. Did the fake penis come un-circumcised? Was this part of the scam actually performed by the family? How do you circumcise a fake penis? We need answers to these questions before we can fully assess the situation.
But police smelled a scam, and took the 15-year-old to a hospital for an examination.
“A doctor examined the teenager and discovered a fake penis tied to her waist,” Monzur Murshed, the local police chief, told AFP.
Critical mistake here – you have to superglue that thing down. That way, if this happens, the doctors take one look and say, “damn – that’s a real penis. It is not coming off.” Also, for those of you who are reading this without a penis, that’s how doctors tell if your penis is real or not. They examine it, and if it looks sketchy, they just pull on it. If it comes off, it’s fake. If it stays on, it’s real. If the pulling goes on too long, well, something entirely inappropriate is liable to happen.
“The girl and her parents have set up a profitable business promising to heal people with a genie.”
As news spread that the girl had not only been transformed but undergone a mystical circumcision, villagers flocked to seek the genie’s intervention with their own medical woes, Murshed added.
You know – you can’t hate these people for trying. It also makes me wonder what the licensing process to start a business is like in Bangladesh. Like, can you just hang a sign on your front door offering a service for money? Seems like that’s what happened here. If that’s the case, I may move The SoBros Network over to Bangladesh to avoid licensing fees, taxes, and of course, most importantly, to take advantage of the locals.
The three will be charged with fraud and prosecuted, police say.
Yep – the iron fist of the law has fisted yet another batch of criminals. That’s the ultimate divide in life, folks. If you’re going to take on The Law, get ready for the fisting.
Gullible villagers pay to seek the divine intervention of genies to fix their medical problems or marital issues.”
That’s it? Seems a little selfish to me – you can’t go to a genie and wish for peaceful conflict resolution among the world’s super powers? You can’t go to a genie and wish for the starving kids in Africa to be fed?
I thought this story was going to be funny, but I’m coming away from it a little disheartened. #BeBetter Bangladesh.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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