Time for the latest edition of ‘things you never knew you wanted’ – this time, we’re talking about a gigantic case of beer that comes packaged on a fucking pallet. 1,000 deep – this is a challenge I think my body is ready to accept.
It was only a matter of time: 1,000-packs of beer have finally arrived. Bad news is they aren’t eligible for Amazon Prime Now just yet, so you’ll need to figure out how to get them home. Also, they’re only for sale in Finland.
Aw, damn – only in Finland. Here I am, sitting in Nashville, Tennessee, thinking, “it’s time to call up the boys and see how we can down this sumbitch.” Might even be good content for the site, ya think?
Nah, on second thought, I can remember having a “beer purge” a few years back. We had 120+ beers leftover from a huge gathering and I didn’t want them to go to waste, so what’s the play there? You call up a dozen or so of your buddies and it’s game on. We got the count down to 18, but not before people were peeing off our balcony. And, I’m pretty sure you’d have better luck understanding two cats meowing at each other than the conversations going on that night. And, around 10PM we were all toast – just amorphous blobs sitting on the couch and floor.
Probably not that entertaining, but at least that beer didn’t go to waste. This could be a good event opportunity, though. Imagine – “The SoBros Just Bought A Thousand Pack of Beer So Come Drink It With Us.”
It’s all for naught, though, guys. America continues to be behind the 8-ball when it comes to true worldly progress like this. I doubt people are going to travel to Finland with us to have this event, so for now, it’s just going to have to be a pipe dream.
A pack will set you back about €2,150, which is north of two bucks per beer. And you do get something of a bulk discount: To hit a thousand, Keisari had to package five stacks of rows that are 12 beers wide by 18 beers long — for a total of 1,080 cans. That’s an absurd amount of beer, of course, so K-supermarket says it’s going to start breaking pallets that don’t sell by today into more manageably sized packs. You can still, in theory, buy 1,000 beers that way, but somehow the whole endeavor would seem just a little less thrilling.
Something about this is reminiscent of the 6-12-18-24 challenge to me. Except, of course, there are no donuts involved and certainly a lot less jerking off. Okay, so it’s not really the same at all – it just brings that sort of competitiveness out in me.
Regardless, this is all a distant dream for us here in Nashville. Maybe one day. #KeepDreaming
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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