Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
Thought exercise. If the SoBros were an assassination squad like in Kill Bill what would your nicknames be? Bonus non-existent points if the nicknames come from the same animal family.
— brett (@thebrettclark) July 25, 2019
Answer:
Man, that’s an excellent question, Brett. The nickname I’d give myself would be Thunder Grizzly. Mose is Bloodblade. Brandon is Raptor Claw. Poppa Bear would be Kodiak Slash. Cadbury is Goosebomb. Rooster is Rooster. How many damn more of us are there?
I can go all day.
Question:
If you were Quentin Tarantino, what would be the name of your next (final?) movie? And who is your leading man or woman?
— Brandon Vick (@SirBrandonV) July 25, 2019
Answer:
Part of me thinks I’d want to go with the ol’ classics and let Samuel L. and Leo shut her down for me. But, I don’t know….another part of me wants to say, “let’s get Ryan Gosling and Quentin Tarantino on the same project and see what happens.” My final movie would be titled Stark Contrast III.
Question:
What do you think will be the most brutal or odd weapon brought to @CruxWrestling next week for the Fans Bring the Weapon Match?
— Steven McCash (@MC_Cash75) July 25, 2019
Answer:
Shit, Steven – you’re bringing those damn paddles you bought at the Tullahoma Goodwill last weekend. Those things are sturdy as fuck. It may not look violent, but that shit’s going to hurt.
I’m honestly kind of nervous about what Mose is cooking up. He’s been hush-hush with the SoBros team about what exactly he’s constructing, but I feel like it’s going to be sadistic.
I’m going to bring my wallet and ask for someone to stick it in someone else’s mouth.
Question:
You get to have sex with the girl of your dreams 1x a year but your dick is rendered useless all other days. Would you agree to that?
— sobrostan (@sobrostan) July 26, 2019
Answer:
No, Stan – we’ve been through this. I love my dick too much to use it just once a year. I’m always going to pick the scenario that DOESN’T involve me using my dick just once a year.
Question:
@SoBrosNetwork if the SoBros had a mascot what would it be? And what would his/her name be?
— WKRN Brent Remadna (@RemadnaWKRN) July 26, 2019
Answer:
I think it would be a bear named Ginny (get it? #GinFriday) – I go with a bear for several reasons. One, it was the nickname my dad gave me as a kid. I don’t know if he could see into the future and knew I would grow up to be 6’1″, 280 with a coat of fur over my entire body or what, but that was his brain. Two, a lot of the team is from Mount Juliet, which is home of the Golden Bears. Three, a lot of people on the team are very bear-like. That simple!
Now I need someone to design a t-shirt that’s just a bear, wearing a SoBros 6:15 shirt, and raising a gin and tonic.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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