Jeff Fisher Has Obviously Sold His Soul to Coach Football

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Jeff Fisher first took the field as Rams head coach in 2012. Since then, he’s posted records of 7-8-1, 7-9, 6-10, 7-9, and this year’s squad currently sits at 4-8. Considering he’s only two losses away from becoming the losing-est coach in NFL history, he’ll probably achieve that feat this season. Something he’s also accomplished this season: getting a contract extension….yeah, no winning seasons, an anemic offense, and no signs of improvement….and he gets to keep his job.

And, boy – Rams Hall of Famer, Eric Dickerson, is not happy about it.

Courtesy of Yahoo Sports““It was hard to watch that. You know that Bill Belichick is going to most definitely out-coach Jeff Fisher for sure,” Dickerson said. “The extension is that the extension is. I knew they probably had an extension in place when I met with Kevin Demoff this week and talked about it and I asked him point-blank, ‘does he have an extension?’ and he said, ‘well, we’ve been talking about it.’ So I said, ‘I know what that means, he has one’ and he didn’t answer me.

“He’s not the coach for this football team. He’s had five years of this. I feel bad for all the Rams fans because I feel like I’m the Rams fans’ voice. I’m a fan like Vince (Ferragamo, the Fox 11 co-anchor and former Rams quarterback) is a fan, like (Hall of Fame right tackle) Jackie (Slater) is a fan, and I feel like we’re going in the wrong direction with the football team.”

Now 4-8, the Rams are last in the league in total offense (284 yards per game), last in first downs per game (15.7), and last in third-down conversion rate (32.5 percent); they are near the bottom of league in all other offensive categories.”

Those offensive stats are staggering…in the worst way imaginable, I mean. Everything about this team is hard to stomach. That season opener against San Francisco is one of the worst football games I’ve ever watched. Gurley has been a tremendous bust this season, whether the team doesn’t utilize him enough or if there’s such a lack of offense that defenses are able to zero in on him. It doesn’t matter. Dickerson is right.

Fisher hasn’t done a damn thing to develop any sort of offense in Los Angeles, and if that wasn’t staggering enough – the Rams had 25 yards of total offense in the first half against New England. You’ve got to be kidding me – that’s what happens when FCS teams play Alabama….that absolutely should not be happening in the NFL.

Dickerson continued, ““I’m watching the news last night and Bill Belichick says, ‘Man, I’m afraid of’ – what’s he afraid of? – ‘I’m afraid of the punter.’ I mean, Johnny Hekker, he’s the MVP, he really is, he’s the best punter in the NFL, but he gets a lot of practice. He’s a great punter but how do you go to a football game and the opposing coach says man I’m afraid of y’all’s punter, the special teams? I’m not afraid of the running game, I’m not afraid of the defense, I’m not afraid of the quarterback, I’m afraid of your punter. I’ve never heard that in my whole life.”

Okay, side note: this is why I love Bill Belichick. Is this not the most sneakily insulting thing a coach can say about an opposing team? But, you know what – it was the honest truth, and I’m sorry, Rams fans, but the truth hurts.

Dickerson may be on to something here, though: “So what’s it about? Is it about him looking up at the scoreboard real nice like? I’ll say it again: Where are the naked pictures? Who has them? Because something is going on here to hire this guy back again for another two seasons. It’s a joke. Unless they’re waiting to try to get the fans to hold on until we get the new stadium and just ride this out. He’s not a winning coach.”

That’s as simple as you can put it, and while I hope to God no one has nudes of any NFL executive stashed away, you never know. I, for one, am convinced there’s only one way this happened: Fisher called up the devil and offered his soul in exchange for the contract extension. Or, Fisher sold his soul along time ago. To be honest, he probably should’ve just retired when Bud Adams was fed up with him.

“….two years…that’s all I need, Satan, and I can get these Rams back to their winning ways.”

100% has to be exactly how it went down. It is legitimately the only option that makes sense here. For some more fun reading, check out the comparison of Fisher and Belichick on Rams Wire.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@PFSpot@WrestlingNewsCo@Bama_Hammer

Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

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