A baby day spa, huh? I don’t own any children. Maybe I should lead with that part. But, regardless, I can’t imagine anyone eagerly dropping their kids off to be dunked in water with a donut wrapped around their neck. If that’s not a deal breaker, how about we plop that baby down on a table and crack its bones? I’m just not buying it. But, apparently, people are clamoring
I don’t know how – I can’t even afford to take my own ass to a day spa. Well, partly because I can’t afford it. Partly because the last time I got a massage, the lady put her hand right up my butt crack – made me slightly uncomfortable. Still, you get what I’m saying. If I’m not going to a spa, I’m damn sure not taking my baby!
So much could go wrong. They could drown. You saw the video – they’re just bobbin’ around, kickin’ the shit out of each other. I’m pretty sure one of them was asleep. What happens if that donut comes off? Or, worse – what happens if it stays on and chokes the babies?!?! Then what, people?!
Also, as far as the massages go, couldn’t that break baby bones? I mean, baby bones are pretty much toothpicks, right? I’m not a physiology expert, but I think that’s the rule. Either toothpicks, or peanut brittle. I can’t remember.
Plus, this is Perth! Last I checked, Perth is in Australia. Don’t they need to toughen their babies up down there considering everything surrounding them could kill them in an instant? I’ve never been, but from what I’ve seen in memes, your babies should be able to fend off lethal snakes, giant alligators, and kickboxing kangaroos.
Only way I’m in is if we can get some sort of “Bumper Babies” game going. Then, I might consider – little kids just rampaging around and passing out concussions.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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