Every grown ass man thinks about what would happen if he ever came face to face with a bear in the wild. It’s just a part of growing up. Y’know, your voice deepens, your balls drop, and you wonder which live animals you could take in hand-to-hand combat if you needed to. Well, this old man has found a tool that is changing how we all think about that question:
“Goin’ on a bear hunt,” eh? Feel sorry for any beast that finds itself on the opposite end of that blade. That’s like driving a fuckin’ lawnmower blade into someone. Unbelievable, and definitely earns style points for how shiny it is.
The problem is that this old timer has quite the time wrestling that thing open. I would advise he just carry it around as an open blade. Because if a bear runs up to him, there’s absolutely NO WAY he’s going to get that blade out in time. He gettin’ gobbled up faster than the meat loaf at the Golden Corral.
Also, he seems to have a hard time just holding it up. I don’t know that I’d trust him to have the strength to drive that thing into a grizzly. Seems like the grizzly would make quick work of this old man. Oh well, at least we know the answer to that question. Maybe just hand it off to the guy saying, “OHHHH – SHIT” because that guy seems ready and capable.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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