The Royal Rumble happened in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and hey – this was a big show and no one reads the intro paragraph anyway so let’s dive right in.
Kickoff Show
Kalisto, Lince Dorado, and Gran Metallik def. Drew Gulak, Jack Gallagher, and TJP – I’m going to be honest, I was still trying to fill out all of our Fantasy Royal Rumble info and just totally tuned this match out. All it seemed like was a showcase of all the different guys in the division, and yeah, cool – that’s fine enough. I’m not going to rate it because I didn’t watch it. But, hey – it is a match that happened.
The Revival def. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows – Fun little kickoff match, and I’m happy to see The Revival get the W. Don’t know what we expected, but two veteran proven teams put on a solid showing. This is what you want your kickoff matches to be. Rating: 6/10.
United States Championship: Bobby Roode def. Mojo Rawley – I like Rawley as a potential pursuer of the U.S. Title, but this match was totally flat. It’s like they never really got going, or had any sort of chemistry whatsoever. Roode wins with an atrocious Glorious DDT. Rating: 4/10.
Main Show
WWE Championship, Handicap Match: A.J. Styles def. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – Owens and Zayn are just excellent together, and so darn cute. Took ’em a little bit to really get cookin’ but I liked the psychology at the start with Styles putting himself in between Owens and Zayn and preventing a tag. Zayn hit a beautiful Blue Thunder Bomb on Styles, but to no avail. Pretty brutal exchange of forearms between Zayn and Styles. Zayn tags in Owens, without actually tagging him. Pop-up Powerbomb reversed into some sort of roll-up and Styles gets the win. Pretty fun opening contest. Rating: 7.5/10.
Smackdown Tag Team Championship, 2 out of 3 Falls Match: The Usos def. Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable – Wow – kind of surprised that The Usos won in two straight falls but this was a fun enough match. The crowd was totally dead….seems like everyone’s just ready for the Rumble. Rating: 6.5/10.
Men’s Royal Rumble: Shinsuke Nakamura wins – That was an excellent Rumble match. One of the best I can remember in a long time. One, it sets up the Styles-Nakamura match at Wrestlemania 34. Two, the surprises were just right this year – Andrade Cien Almas, Adam Cole, The Hurricane, etc. etc…Third, it was just an hour of great fucking wrestling. I loved that it came down to Nakamura, Cena, Balor, and Reigns. Balor gets the credit as this year’s “iron man,” after competing for over 57 minutes. Nakamura gets the eliminations on Cena and then Reigns, and the rocket is officially strapped to his back. Rating: 8/10.
Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar def. Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins – It’s a shame that the crowd was dead for this, but man – there’s a lot of emotional investment in an hour-long Royal Rumble. It was only natural that what followed that Rumble was going to hit a bit of a lull. Beautiful story telling as it’s looking more and more like we’re getting Jordan-Rollins at some point. Great match that isn’t going to get a lot of credit for what it was. The Bar get their 4th tag titles. Rating: 7.5/10.
Universal Championship Triple Threat: Brock Lesnar def. Braun Strowman and Kane – I thought this could’ve been a whole lot worse, but it was decent enough of a hoss fight. But, at this point, everyone’s just ready to get to the Rumble. We figured Kane was in the match to eat the pin and that was just it. F5 on a chair, 1-2-3. Moving on. Rating: 6.5/10.
Women’s Royal Rumble: Asuka wins – A lot of fun. A lot of nostalgia. The other Rumble was higher quality. But, no one’s going to argue that this was much more meaningful. I don’t know that it was the right call to have it come down to Asuka and Nikki Bella but the Empress of Tomorrow winning was the right call. After the match, Ronda Rousey shows up to stake her claim in the Women’s Division. Kind of a weird segment, but whatever – I’m trying to be positive. Think this is going to build up to a pretty damn good Wrestlemania. Rating: 7.5/10
Overall: 7/10. Tough to really hold our attention on these long shows, but that was one fun show. Loved the Rumble winners, and it looks like we’re going to get us a pretty strong Wrestlemania card. And, keep in mind how hard it was for the Royal Rumble to top NXT TakeOver: Philadelphia.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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