Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
Tip of the cap, ladies and gentlemen. It’s been a fine season. While I will be trotting out a Super Bowl LII betting guide in the coming weeks, this is the last week I’ll be picking multiple games. It’s sad, I know. I just had to wipe my eyes real quick before finishing this article.
No matter what happens this weekend, I’ll have clinched another winning season picking games. Those of you who lost with me early, I hope you stuck around to reap the rewards later on. I mean, it ain’t like 58% is going to win you a yacht, but after the disastrous 2016 campaign I had, I’ll certainly take it and the profits that come along with it.
Conference Championship weekend is my favorite football weekend, and boys and girls – we have ourselves a couple of dandy match-ups.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
AFC: New England -9 vs. Jacksonville – I said the Tennessee Titans matched up pretty well against the Patriots, that they were built the way you build a team to beat New England, and we saw what happened there. I’ve learned that you just don’t trust inexperienced teams in the postseason against the New England juggernaut.
I don’t care how good the defense is, and I certainly don’t care that they have the best secondary in the NFL. Look at what Ben Roethlisberger just did to that secondary. Do you really trust Blake Bortles to go on the road and score 45 points again? I don’t. No matter how much it pisses the rest of the country off, this is a game the Pats will likely win big.
NFC: Philadelphia +3 vs. Minnesota – People are sleeping how good this Eagles defense is at home. They completely stuffed a dynamic, talented Atlanta Falcons offense to 10 points last week. I don’t think the Vikings present any unusual match-ups on offense that would worry you more than the Falcons offense. So, I’m going to ride that defense to the Super Bowl here.
Nick Foles certainly is no Drew Brees, but he proved the doubters wrong last week. He is a guy that can get this team to the next level. Brees leaned heavily on rookie Alvin Kamara, and the Eagles certainly don’t have a running back with his skill set. But, they do have a guy named Nelson Agholor who they could use similarly, getting the ball on short passes and getting him out to the edge of that treacherous Vikings defense. I think this is going to be another 14-10 or 14-13 type of game, and I think the Eagles win it.
I really want a Jags-Vikings Super Bowl, but I’m banking on an Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl.
Last Week: (3-1)
On the Season: (52-37-5) – 58%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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