College football never really goes away, the story lines just change. You see I was relaxing at home, minding my business, when I get a tip about a potential new hire for the Alabama Crimson Tide. I wondered, “who could the defending National Champions of college football (and no, not UCF) be adding to their staff?” And then I read the name:
Butch Jones.
I had to reread. And fact check. And check again. Every single time, it was Butch Jones. According to various outlets, Jones has been in contact with Nick Saban about an analyst position. What in the hell is he going to analyze? Saban’s morning coffee? Board game night? Inspirational quotes for children? No sir, he’s being considered for an OFFENSIVE analyst position.
Let that sink in.
Saban has a reputation for hiring former coaches into the fold with the Tide. He’s really turned that Alabama coaching staff into the Island of Misfit toys. But Butch Jones isn’t a misfit toy. He’s a broken toy. The one you got for Christmas from a random family member that you never asked for and have no desire to keep. This isn’t like when Saban hired Sarkisian to be an analyst. Sark had some personal struggles, lost his job, and went to the Tide to regain his footing.
Jones’ struggles include football and coaching. He was fired for being terrible at both.
I’m guessing Saban came in last in his fantasy football league and this is his punishment.
“Nick, you’re dead last. You know what this means. You have to hire Butch Jones.”
“Come on man. Can’t I just do that weird T-Rex arm dance I do? Or karaoke Don’t Stop Believing with Dan Mullen? Or hang out with Les Miles for five minutes?”
“Nope. Hire Butch.”
“I would rather staple my scrotum to the desk.”
“We thought of that. We figured this is worse.”
And yes, I assume Nick Saban plays fantasy football with the Devil.
Of course, this could just be another genius move by Saban. Is there a better way to know what NOT to do in a given situation? Maybe Jones will sit in the press box with a headset that doesn’t work until Saban wants his opinion, just so he can do the opposite. Or maybe, just maybe, the grandpa in Nick Saban is shining through and he’s taking pity on a poor man that needs a helping hand.
Yeah, I don’t believe that either.
Poppa Bear is the Lead SEC Analyst for the SoBros Network, and serves as our resident expert on the human anatomy, fixin’ stuff, and tomatoes. Follow on Twitter:@SoBroPoppaBear
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