Southern Underground Pro held their fifth event this past Sunday, and good googly moogly the SoBros had an absolute blast! Stoney, Poppa Bear and myself made the trek to The Basement East with light beers and lariats (shout out to Ol Mancer) on the mind. After getting settled in with some PBR’s, we found ourselves ringside and ready for everything the SUP crew was going to throw at us…or so we thought.
SCRAMBLE MATCH OPENER
Scramble matches can be tricky depending on who all is involved but with Donovan Danhausen, Danny Adams, Cabana Man Dan, Rockin’ Rivera and Marko Stunt going absolutely nuts, we were blessed with a hot hot hot opener. Danhausen gets the win but everyone had their moments and the SUP crowd really enjoyed the debuting Stunt.
Nick Iggy vs. Tyler Matrix
This entire card was shifted around the night before the show which meant the beautiful bloodbath that was supposed to be Iggy and Stevie Fierce didn’t take place. Tyler Matrix stepped right up to take on The Ringleader in Stevie’s absence. This was a really fun match that included a mean Dandy Orton and the man some refer to as Steve Awwstin getting the win and celebrating with a few PBR’s.
Gunner Miller vs. Craig Mitchell
This battle of hosses didn’t disappoint as we had f-bombs and power shots being thrown around by the second. Craig came out looking to throw hands with Gunner which seems to never be a good idea. After a solid back and forth The Captain got the win after a big boy Jackhammer that may or may not have put a dent in the ring.
Allie Kat vs. “Slutty Kat” Josh Bishop
Because of the card change we were blessed with this total dream match. The Kat Fight was a total blast from bell to bell with Allie Kat picking up the win though the SUP crowd may have been a little bummed to see ‘Slutty Kat” take the L. Someone take my money and book these two as a tag team.
Brett Ison vs. Righteous Jesse
This started as a Dog Collar Match but the chain was torn apart early in the match as these guys beat the brakes off each other. Chairs, a keyboard, and a stapler were all used to inflict as much pain as possible. Oh and that shoot headbutt from Jesse was fucking nuts. Brett gets the win after giving Street Justice to Jesse on a steel chair.
No joke this guy beside us was getting queasy during the match and even had to walk away near the end. If that’s not a ringing endorsement to watch this match I don’t know what is. Post-match, Brett kept the beat down going until Kerry Awful stepped in to protect Jesse. The stare down between Brett and Kerry had the entire bar holding their breath.
Mance Warner vs. Kerry Awful
I love both these guys so this was a real treat to watch unfold. Poppa Bear had never seen Ol Mancer live before and quickly approved of The Medium Sized Man Beast. The twists and turns this match took has me warning wrestling in 2018 that it’s gonna be hard to top.
After Mance and Kerry beat the holy hell out of each other all over the bar we found out that Mance had actually not fucked Kerry’s Aunt but had inadvertently kissed his Uncle. This shocked Kerry and us as a whole. The Dog Faced Gargoyle then led the crowd in a “Love is Love” chant before splitting a PBR with Mance. SUP over everything. After all of this awesomeness, Brett Ison returned and attacked Kerry which had the SUP crowd in a frenzy.
AJ Gray vs. Uncle Biff
Talking about a clash of styles with this one. Biff threw some huge shots but AJ withstood them all and even landed a hell of a Lo Down (shout out D’Lo Brown) along the way. Rich Homie Juice got the win then for all intents and purposes celebrated with a Black & Mild wood tip.
Kevin Ku vs. Angelus Layne
Well we got started with Angelus hoping to sneak up on Ku during his entrance only for Kevin to come flying off the stage with his own attack. Remember how just a few minutes ago we were chanting “Love is Love?” Well that’s all over now as we have a “Break Her Neck” chant going full force. Seriously, SUP over everything. Gross chair shots littered this match before Ku finally got his revenge with Angelus not being able to make the ref’s ten count. Ku flipping Angelus off the last few seconds of the count was amazing to see.
Dominic Garrini vs. Curt Stallion
There wasn’t anything to laugh about in this match except for Poppa Bear telling me that Dominic had “K-Mart feet” due to him working with no shoes on. I found this to be quite funny and may have to bring it up to Curt the next time I talk to him. The match itself was not so funny.
Chops, kicks, chops, submission attempts, chops, headbutts and more chops would be a pretty good summation of this war. Dominic wins the match and the Bonestorm Championship after a frenzy of piledrivers on Curt led referee Doug Markham to call for the bell. Post-match, Curt was pissed and left Doug crumpled in the ring after a vicious headbutt.
John Mosley is the independent wrestling and TV aficionado of the SoBros Network. He graduated from ETSU with a degree in Radio, TV and Film along with a minor in Film Studies. Since graduating he’s done pretty much nothing but watch, film, edit or commentate for local wrestling promotions and is the current color commentator for Resolute Wrestling. #Preds #Titans #DefendOrVacateConor – Follow on Twitter: @CoupleOfJobbers
Buy our shirt. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube. Shop our store on Redbubble.
