A Meth Lab in Green Hills?!?! What the Hell?!

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Look at that beautiful city – ah, yes. Green Hills, Tennessee. The most beautiful, glamorous, luxurious, and ritzy town within approximately 15,000 miles of Nashville. It’s always glowing and buzzing with life. It’s often been said that nothing bad ever happens in Green Hills because it is perfect. Well, as it turns out – hang on, let me wipe my tears from my eyes – not even the closest thing we have to a utopia is immune from the dreaded meth-heads.

Credit to Fox 17 Nashville:

Metro Nashville Police arrested two people accused of operating a meth lab in a Green Hills condominium.

On Tuesday night, police arrested Michael Todd and Jaclyn Mullin while investigating illegal drug sales at a home on the 3000 block of Hillsboro Pike.

While executing a search warrant, police seized 46.9 grams of meth, 29.9 grams of cocaine, 42 Xanax pills, one gram of heroin, two loaded handguns, two vehicles and $2,473 cash. Officers also found the makings for a meth lab in a storage unit assigned to the condo.

Todd and Mullin, both 33, are both facing several drug-related charges.

*GASP*

Sorry, I’m having a hard time typing this while laying on my back on the floor because I fell out of my chair. But, OH THE HORROR! Meth, Xanax, heroin, guns, cars, cash, and cuh-caine. It’s all there! The whole nine yards of independent drug cartels!

But, on a serious note – why the hell do you pick Green Hills to set up your meth operations?!?! There’s a TON of people living in that part of town. Did these people not think they’d get caught? I mean, there’s a reason people set up their meth labs way out in the boonies.

And, just aside from it being in a popular part of town, why would you do it in a storage unit? Aren’t those…like…someone else’s property, technically? But, hell – I don’t know anything about making meth (or do I?). Storage units could have the exact properties you look for in a meth leb.

Whatever the case, I’m just glad these assholes were caught before the damn meth lab blew up. What a shame. I’ll have to think twice about breathing in meth fumes next time I go to enjoy a delicious evening at The Cheesecake Factory.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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