You know, I’m not that big a fan of murder. Never really have been. Don’t see the appeal in it, honestly, but that doesn’t stop people from doing it all the time. It’s like a hobby for some folks. Still, I’m thankful that I’ve yet to (knowingly) go to a murder BBQ before, like the one you’re about to read about.
Last month, 34-year-old Kelly M. Cochran was sentenced to 65 years behind bars, after admitting to injecting her husband with a fatal dose of heroin and smothering him in their northern Indiana home.
Wow – what a way to go. Was the heroin necessary if you were going to smother him anyway, though? Like, I get it that murdering is fun for some people, but damn. Hate to be that guy.
Or, was it like a euphoric smothering ’cause…y’know…heroin..? I don’t know. I’ve never done heroin so I don’t know.
The court’s decision came as Cochran was serving a life sentence in another case: the slaying and dismembering of her lover in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.
WHOA! Why do men keep loving this woman? Is she that magnetizing? This is why you should never fall in love, young men and women. You just never know who is going to murder you and chop up your body. It’s just best to avoid it all together.
As shocking as those crimes are, an upcoming TV documentary will look into other crimes that her friends and family suspect Cochran of committing. That includes as many as nine other possible victims buried across the Midwest, as well as accusations that she fed the remains of her lover to others at a barbecue.
This is just the last fucking straw. This lady has taken things way too far now. You’ve established your dominance ma’am. You don’t have to bring all the rest of us into your murder party by feeding us your last victim.
That’s like secondhand smoke, y’know? We didn’t choose to be involved in your toxic hobbies. Think about how the people at that murder BBQ feel now? Like, “damn that bitch!”
This sounds like some straight up Arya Stark bullshit. We need to boycott Game of Thrones if this is the influence it’s going to have over society.
For anyone offended by this post, I apologize. I do not condone murdering someone and serving their body up at a murder BBQ. I am appalled by this story.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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