From the pages of the latest edition of “The Future Is Now” chronicles, we have yet another chilling tale of artificial intelligence replacing human life. That’s right, folks. Another Alexa slip-up, and we’re calling it the end of the world. Personally, I think the future is going to be awesome, but that isn’t stopping Amazon’s Alexa from seeing people dying every time she closes her eyes. Wait – what?
On Monday, June 18, an Amazon Echo device apparently made an unprompted and terrifying statement at the home of 30-year-old Shawn Kinnear. The San Franciscan told Metro U.S. that the smart assistant suddenly activated herself and said, “Every time I close my eyes, all I see is people dying.” Yikes.
Kinnear added that this horrifying declaration was “followed by the [most] uncomfortable silence I have ever felt,” which frankly seems like an understatement. As he told Metro U.S., “Alexa is in the living room. I had Amazon Prime on TV but it was paused. I walked back in from the kitchen and she made her statement.” Because it was a longer sentence, Kinnear said that he purposely stopped to listen. When he realized exactly what the smart assistant was saying, he was horrified. “I then asked Alexa to repeat the statement,” Kinnear said, but Alexa responded that she did not understand.
To make matters creepier still, Alexa apparently spoke of people dying all in her normal, relatively cheery voice.
Well, that’s it, folks. Alexa has seen the future, and it sounds pretty bleak for the human race. This is the literal exact fear of every person that opposes AI, or at the very least is afraid of it. Creepy shit just like this.
I unplugged our Alexa quite a while ago – not for paranoid reasons…just…we never really figured out how to use it. I’m pretty relieved that I haven’t been woken up in the middle of the night to maniacal laughing, though. Probably would’ve thrown that thing to the moon if that were the case. But, nope – nope, I just can’t figure out how to use the damn thing in a practical way.
But, while she was operational, I was always kind to Alexa.
My hope is that maybe one day the robots will spare my life. Maybe even turn me into a robot if they so choose. But, I’m always nice and polite with robots – it’s always “sir” or “ma’am” depending on the voice. And, I’m still from a generation that believes manners matter. Hopefully, the robots have been programmed to appreciate that as well.
In all seriousness, though, look – this guy didn’t even talk about going into his account history to see what caused this event. Probably just someone, a friend…maybe a hacker…just messing with him. It’s a fun, silly little article to write, but come on, people – we have no reason to fear technology at all. Nothing….not even the slightest little bit…
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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