My birthday is coming up on Friday – that’s June 29th if you’re bad at calculus. So, I decided I’d take a break from all of this work madness and clear my mind for a day or two. I’m going to go stare at the mountains and stare into the woods for approximately 48 hours straight and when I return, I hope I’ll be a little more motivated, rested, and ready to tackle the world.
I can remember going to Pigeon Forge every year as a kid. We’d go up into the mountains once to look around, but that was about it. And, really – that’s Pigeon Forge…the family spot. The putt putt, the pools, the go karts, the arcades – all of it, to this day, is wedged into my brain. That family vacation hub is essentially wired into my DNA. Now, decades later, I’m still automatically programmed to think about the Smoky Mountains when I hear the question, “where you wanna go to relax for a bit?”
But, since I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to appreciate Gatlinburg. Sure, there’s still plenty of putt-putt, but it’s definitely the more adult friendly town of the two. It’s a little more calm and chill. Plus, the distilleries and wineries make it a haven for drunks like me. It’s just much more peaceful and serene.
Even at a young age, I realized how popular “the mountains,” as they’re affectionately known, were. But, now that I’m older….man….I dare say there’s nothing more Tennessean than traveling to Gatlingburg/Pigeon Forge for a weekend or so in the Summer time. It’s like everyone living in the region has a Summer checklist, and the Smoky Mountains are one of the items to check off.
So, in that spirit, I figured I’d throw out some quick power rankings…considering that’s what we do around here…in anticipation of the trip.
Honorable mention to the views. Seriously, I could take a weekend in Gatlinburg and just roam around enjoying the different views and be just fine. Find a park, hike up a mountain, just take it all in. It’s nice.
Quick Gatlinburg Power Rankings
10. The Sky Lift – One of the best ways to fully experience the views of the mountains is to hop on the cart and ride up the side of one of the mountains.
9. Blaine’s – It’s usually our first stop in town once we make it in off the road – good cold beer and good bar food.
8. Kilwin’s Chocolates and Ice Creams – One thing this town does extremely well is sweets. Homemade candy, chocolates, ice cream – it’s all top notch quality. But, in this one degenerate writer’s opinion, Kilwin’s is the best.
7. Crawdaddy’s – It’s fun. Not exactly the best seafood, but hey – it’s a tourist town. Instead, you go to Crawdaddy’s for the fun times and maybe a little karaoke.
6. The Space Needle – Call me a sucker, but I’m still an old fashioned, traditional dude. No mountain vacation is complete with a trip up to the top of the Space Needle. But, it’s not for those afraid of heights.
5. Loco Burro – Especially in the Summer time, this is a hell of a rooftop to sit on and sip margaritas while you stare aimlessly at the majestic views.
4. Crocketts Breakfast Camp – Just discovered this spot the last time I went up there – couple of years ago. But, man – in an area littered with decent pancake shops, Crocketts stands out as the preeminent breakfast spot in town.
3. Hillbilly Golf – It is the staple of the mountains, but let’s be honest. Riding up the side of a mountain just to play some mini-golf was the adventure of a lifetime as a kid.
2. Smoky Mountain Brewery – Gatlinburg’s still a tourist spot at heart, so, again, you won’t find much good good food in town. But, that said, Smoky Mountain Brewery is about the best spot we’ve found so far – good burgers and a strong beer list.
1. Donut Friar – Donut Friar over everything, y’all. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about a cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee. Donut Friar is the best part of Gatlinburg, hands down. No questions asked.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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