Big news…potentially YUGE news coming out of the world of the mystic arts today. Apparently, not only are shamans real, but they are fancy and expensive beings. The ramifications of this story will be felt for all of eternity.
In a turn of events that read like an episode of Charmed, it’s been revealed that Louis Vuitton employs a professional shaman (or wizard of good and evil spirits) from Brazil to ensure the weather at their Cruise show outings always remains impeccable. Who would’ve thought?
According to The Guardian, the unidentified shaman also commanded the weather at LV’s Cruise shows in Rio and Kyoto.
While menacing clouds threatened for the duration of the show, rain did indeed hold off—unlike Dior’s outdoor Cruise 2019 show in Chantilly, which fell victim to an unfortunate downpour.
Vogue Runway also reported that the Brazilian-based shaman flies only private, and commands a six-figure fee for ensuring the weather remains precipitation-free. And, just when we thought we’d heard it all, the shaman reportedly worked his magic at Meghan and Harry’s Windsor Castle nuptials last month (resulting in beaming sunlight all day long).
Astonishing. Hang on – let me pick my jaw up off the floor right now.
So, all this time, we’re thinking shamans and witch doctors are just the stuff of legend. But, folks, I just checked the calendar and it says 2018. It’s 2018! Say it with me: shamans are real.
Why can’t we learn of this shaman’s identity, though? I’m having a birthday party in two weeks. I would love to be blessed with good weather on that day. I mean, that seems like something that is totally worth a six-figure investment, right?
But, the guy has the results to back it up. No rain ever when this shaman is running the show. Man, what a time to be alive.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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