Who Drinks Vodka and Red Bull Anymore Anyway?

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Last week, news of a new study examining the effects of drinking Red Bull and vodka together came out. To the surprise of no one, yeah – it causes a bit of risky behavior. But, I’m here to say that it takes a certain kind of person to drink that shit anyway. So, pardon me while I rail on vodka Red Bulls for the next 400 words or so. And, for those of you who missed the story, BOOM – source:

Courtesy of Vinepair:

A new study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research suggests this potent mix compounds the effects of heavy drinking, and increases the “risk of fighting, violence, and participation in risky behaviors.”’

In other words, Red Bull vodkas turn people into belligerent bros.

Speaking to Science Daily, the study’s co-author Dr. Matt Parker of the University of Portsmouth, said, “This study is the first to show that the two together may be exacerbating some of the negative effects of binge drinking.”

‘Belligerent bros’ are about the only people I’ve ever known to actually go out on a Friday night and order vodka Red Bulls to begin with. I mean…..a vodka Red Bull is essentially an upper and a downer in the same glass. Not to be that guy, but there’s no way that’s a healthy combination to begin with. Your heart is just a mess, so yeah – it’s going to make you crazy.

But, in my experience, you have to be crazy to begin with to even think about slamming vodka Red Bulls. They just aren’t good. I haven’t ever known a person who regularly drinks vodka Red Bulls that wasn’t a loose cannon anyway. But, come to think of it, I don’t really know anyone who regularly drinks vodka Red Bulls at all. Maybe it’s because I’m 32 years old and none of us binge drink like college students anymore.

Oh, God – have I become that old man on his porch yelling at the kids to calm down?

“These damn kids and their fun.”

Yes. Yes I have (photo credit: thanks Greg) – but anyway, back to the story.

Don’t worry – they tested it out on fish…who are….not known for being belligerent bros…

Scientists concluded that the fish exposed to both alcohol and taurine displayed more “risky” behavior (spending longer time in areas where they might be at risk from predators), and had fewer social interactions with other fish.

“Alcohol reduces our inhibitions, and in low doses can cause relaxation and euphoria,” Parker said. “However, in higher doses, this low inhibition can cause problems with fighting or risky behavior.”

Yeah, no shit, science. Thanks for spelling out what everyone has known for years and also getting a bunch of fish drunk in the process. I would also venture to bet that there’s a strong overlap between people who drink vodka Red Bulls and people who abuse steroids. But, again – this is just from my experience – so please, if you have a different experience with this beverage, share away.

But, you know what, I’m not going to hate on this experiment. It sounds like a lot of fun. Let’s feed some fish vodka Red Bulls and sit down and watch ’em for a few hours just to figure this shit out. Fish are just like people.

I know this post will come across as snooty Stoney writing from his ivory tower, but I’m really not a Red Bull hater. O’Charley’s used to make a line of Red Bull slushies, and I drank one of those at least once a week. So, there – can’t call me a hater.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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