Another year, another installment of the Wilson County Fair is in the books. I made it out Thursday night of last week, but the overall experience has changed drastically since I was a kid. It used to be that I’d run like hell up and down that midway, riding rides and playing games. But, now that I’m a grown ass 32 year old, I look forward to eating a ton of food and admiring the craftsmanship of the fine jewelry purveyors and the architecture of old buildings.
What have I become?
Alas, this article idea came to me after I fielded questions for the SoBros Mailbag last week. Longtime friend of the brand, Dom, asked for my top five favorite fair foods. Well, Dom, my good friend, I will do you one better. This is a topic worth discussing on its own, so I have compiled my power rankings for the top 10 fair foods from the Wilson County Fair. LFG.
Wilson County Fair: Food Power Rankings
10. Deep fried Oreos – I can’t do all the deep fried shit. We tried deep fried cookie dough one year, and I may as well have eaten an entire live raccoon for all the good it did to my body. But, I have to admit, I can enjoy one single solitary deep fried Oreo and enjoy it.
9. Cheeseburgers – You can get a million different types of cheeseburgers at the fair. If it wasn’t such an ordinary food, it’d be much higher on the list. Still, there’s something to say for just a good old fashioned fair burger. This year, I tried the pimento cheese burger from The Cheese Wagon and it was exquisite.
8. Corn dogs – You just can’t go wrong with a good ol’ American classic that just so happens to be the same size as a massive porn hog.
7. Ribbon Fries – County fair ribbon fries are the preeminent county fair appetizer. And, if you can find the truck that’ll dump a gallon of cheese on top of ’em, they’re even better.
6. Funnel cakes – You can’t go the fair without at least flirting with the funnel cakes. It’s automatic. But, it’s also not really inventive fair food, and that’s the whole point of fair food being fair food. You have to make the most of your culinary decisions. This is cuisine you should only enjoy once a year.
5. Gyros – I don’t feel like the gyros at the county fair are talked about enough. They’re just the right amount of greasy fair food tasting and just the right amount of “I won’t feel like shit for three days after eating this.”
4. Cobbler – Tucked away among the other dessert trucks, there’s a little unassuming trailer with a sign at the top that just reads “Cobbler Cafe.” That lady makes some of the best cobbler you’ll ever eat. It’s perfect if you’re like me, and want to splurge on some sweets but don’t want deep fried everything. But, there’s no point in getting it unless you get the scoop of ice cream with it.
3. Fried green tomatoes – There’s a truck – forgive me, the name escapes me – that just says “fried green tomatoes” and “the secret’s in the sauce.” If you see that truck, order some damn fried green tomatoes. They are the best I’ve ever had. I seek these folks out every year.
2. Chicken on a stick – If you try to get a good chicken on a stick anywhere else, they just try to do too much. Give me the simple, marinated chicken on a stick at the fair eight days a week. I have no idea what it’s marinated in, probably don’t want to know, but it is unlike any chicken on a stick elsewhere.
1. Polish sausage – I’m an old soul at heart. Growing up, going to the county fair always meant getting one of those gargantuan Polish sausages, loaded to the bring of containment with sauteed peppers and onions. Those things are practically synonymous with “Wilson County Fair” in my book, and you just can’t seem to get a good one outside of that one week in August.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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