There’s nothing like summertime at the movies. Film companies load up their biggest of stars, blockbuster sequels, and ridiculous budgets and come plowing through cinemas in hopes of breaking box office records while making a TON of money. And when I say film companies, I am mainly speaking of that damn dominant Disney!
As the summer movie season has started to begin in April instead of May these days, we get a few more weeks to enjoy or endure depending on how it goes. With every spectacle, there’s a stinker, and I just so happened to have ranked only the latter for all of your enjoyment. Also, I left off any Netflix movie during this time period. Most are not even worth mentioning, and you’ll be sure to see some on my worst list of 2018 later on.
So until then…enjoy the smell of these!
Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom: Dull bad guys, an overly long run time, and a dwindling sense of wonderment leave the biggest bite marks.
The Happytime Murders: Shame on director Brian Henson for stuffing jokes with no wit and leaving us with a tired and torn murder mystery.
The Bookshop: No amount of charm can overcome its laggard pace and the ineffectiveness to strum up anything worthy of our attention.
Skyscraper: Not an ounce of originality is in this lofty action thriller that’s unsteady and unable to stack up against others it imitates.
The Little Stranger: Director Lenny Abrahamson knows how to set the mood, but has a rough time getting the characters and pace to click to tell a satisfying spooky story. This gothic horror is a lifeless one where the scares a very scarce with a careless cop-out for an ending. Full Review Here.
Mary Shelley: Elle Fanning’s performance is the only thing that comes to life in this otherwise stodgy gothic romance soap opera.
The Meg: A rated R version would have been bolder and a lot bloodier. Instead of cleaning his creature feature up, director Jon Turteltaub should have had the balls to go with the one that is meant for this shark of epic proportion. Full Review Here.
Ocean’s 8: This revamped Ocean’s should feel fresh, but it’s up to its same tired tricks that we’ve come to expect, turning this in to one humdrum heist.
The Spy Who Dumped Me: Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon’s chemistry doesn’t click, and with such a bare story to begin with, there’s no reason for it to even be close to two hours long.
Life of the Party: Melissa McCarthy is much better than the material her and her husband wrote. A cluttered comedy that encourages the empowerment of women, but ditzy in its delivery.
Billionaire Boys Club: As the movie tries to allure and build suspense off of privileged kids being hustlers who think they’re big shots, it’s clear the entire narrative is on borrowed time. What’s left is a wimpier Wolf of Wall Street.
Never Goin’ Back: First time director/writer Augustine Frizzell is content with showing a free-style female friendship that never pushes the boundaries of being rowdy, raunchy, or reckless. Full Review Here.
“Nature Boy” Brandon Vick is the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and star of Brandon’s Box Office In Your Mouth. Follow him on Twitter@SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
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