WWE’s Survivor Series 2018 emanated live from Los Angeles at the Staples Center. It’s Raw vs. SmackDown, and no matter how tired I am of that gimmick, WWE is going to keep rolling with it. So, fuck it – let’s review a wrestling show.
Kickoff Show
1. Tag Survivor Series Match: Team SmackDown def. Team Raw – Came in on the tail end of this one, so I’m not going to give it a rating. Come on, guys. I’m a fucking professional. I could never rate a match I didn’t watch all the way through. But, holy shit! That German spot was litty like a tiddy. Team Smackdown wins when Jimmy Uso hits the big splash on Scott Dawson for the win. That Raw tag division is so weak right now, that’s how this match had to go. I mean, The Usos and New Day are on one team, and Chad Gable and Bobby Roode are the captains of the Raw team? Yeah, that Raw division is on life support. Seemed fun from what I saw and what I read, though.
Survivor Series 2018 Main Show
2. Team Raw def. Team SmackDown (Women’s Match) – Man, they are really riding this Nia Jax #FaceBreaker thing, aren’t they? Thought this was a barrel of fun. Perfect way to get the show started. Jax turns on her own partner, Sasha Banks, and Asuka makes her tap out. Jax then drops three legs on Asuka followed up with a Samoan Drop to get the pin. Rating: 7/10.
3. Seth Rollins def. Shinsuke Nakamura – hoo-wee what a strong showing for these guys. Ample time to do their thing, the crowd was hot. Looked crisp. Some of the big highlights include Rollins hitting a series of suicide dives with the crowd going wild. He later knocks Nakamura’s lights out with a super kick. Fun little finish as both guys missed their finishers, then Rollins hits The Stomp for the victory. Rating: 7.5/1o.
4. AOP def. The Bar – AOP get the win with their finish, whatever tf it’s called. Man, I can’t figure AOP out. These dudes should just be tearing through the roster. Instead, they’re paired with Drake Maverick and are winning matches because their opponents are distracted by Maverick literally pissing himself. WTF? I mean, what was the reason they couldn’t bring in Paul Ellering again? Not a bad showing, but I can’t get over that finish. Pro wrestling at its finest. Rating: 4.5/10.
5. Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy def. Mustafa Ali – Is anyone having a more underrated year than Murphy? Excellent exchange to start the match. Murphy shoves Ali off the turnbuckle into the guard rail outside in a spot that had me yelling, “OH FUCK.” These guys have great chemistry. Murphy keeps throwing Ali out of the ring, this time, he follows it up with a big…flip….what do you call that? I don’t know, but it looked awesome. Ali hits an awesome reverse hurricanrana on Murphy. I’m glad these guys are gettin’ some real time on the main show. Ali goes for the 054, but Murphy sends him outside. Ali hits a got dang Spanish Fly off the announce table onto the outside and holy shit – this is awesome.
“2-0-5” chants break out. What a banger of a match – Murphy hits a vicious knee as Ali goes for a splash in mid-air. I don’t know what Murphy calls his move, but he hits it for the win and these guys just stole the show. Rating: 8.5/10.
6. Team Raw def. Team SmackDown (Men’s Match) – I saw Samoa Joe take the L, and then, I’ll be honest, guys. My girlfriend tipped over a festive decorative candle holder and shattered glass all over the floor so I had to miss a few minutes of the match to clean that up. I came back to see Shane McMahon deliver the big elbow drop to Braun Strowman. Pretty fun little contest here, then you get Strowman on an elimination spree, taking out Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio and The Miz, leaving only McMahon to take on Strowman, Drew McIntyre, and Bobby Lashley. Fans are chanting “you can do it,” though, so that ought to do the trick. It doesn’t do the trick. McMahon eats the L, and that’s a wrap. Meh. Rating: 5/10.
7. Ronda Rousey def. Charlotte Flair (DQ) – Welp. Here we go. Rousey gets bloodied up a few minutes into the match – pretty bad cut in the mouth or something. Rousey goes up top, but Flair knocks her down. She goes for a suplex, but Rousey counters and then rolls off the top rope and somehow ends up in an arm bar. Flair getting quite the shine in this one. She goes up top for the moonsault, but Rousey gets a boot up. Flair hits the spear, but Rousey kicks out at two – damn that was a close one.
Frustratingly close between these two, until Flair grabs a kendo stick and beats the ever loving shit out of Rousey. The ref calls for the DQ, but that doesn’t stop Flair. I would guesstimate that she hit Rousey at least 82 times. Then, she goes to get the chair for good measure. Just when we think she’s done, she runs back in and hits Natural Selection onto the chair. Rousey may be dead – I don’t want to overreact to the situation, but R.I.P.. The refs come out to break it up, but Flair beats the hell out of them, too. My God, this is gold. Flair puts Rousey’s neck in the chair and stomps on it. Crowd is chanting “thank you Charlotte” which is a pretty fuckin’ weird response to this gross beat down. Nonetheless, this shit was wild. Peak pro wrestling, folks. Rating: 9/10.
Brock Lesnar def. Daniel Bryan – Main event time! Love cocky smug ass Daniel Bryan. Getting out of the ring and doing the classic heel stall tactic. Only a matter of time before we get the standard issue Lesnar suplex fest…some of these are rough. Like, Bryan landed and slid on the top of his head at one point. This is just a beat down.
NEVERMIND! After about 20 minutes of Lesnar suplexing Bryan, the ref gets knocked down, and Bryan kicks Lesnar RIGHT in the dick! The flying knee and a near fall. Bryan is up and going! LFG LFG LFG LFG LFG! Man, I was on the edge of my seat during the Yes Lock. Ultimately, Lesnar gets the win with the F5. Kind of disappointing – I’d love to see Lesnar lose one of these one day, but whatever. It was a good match. Rating: 8/10.
Overall: 7/10. I thought the actual in-ring action tonight was phenomenal. Great stuff, but the drama felt a little hollow – I’m sorry, but I like high stakes wrestling. I want drama, championships….put the custody of someone’s child on the line, ffs. The stuff with Flair-Rousey was phenomenal, and I liked the main event, but as for the night as a whole, just thought it felt rather inconsequential. That said, the actual wrestling was good enough to give this show a boost – would recommend. Am I making sense? I don’t know, but I’ve had an entire bottle of wine.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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