A Cheetos sandwich. What is the world coming to? KFC you wily sumbitch. First, you go and tease us American citizens with your gravy candle that is, in fact, only available in the UK. What a gut punch that was – and what do you offer us Americans instead? This fuckin’ monstrosity?

Richmond is one of the. lucky U.S. cities where KFC is testing out its new Cheetos Sandwich. Will you try it? pic.twitter.com/t8Cnnsws0P

— WTVR CBS 6 Richmond (@CBS6) January 29, 2019

Disgusting – this is beyond disgusting, actually. It’s offensive. I am offended that this is what you think of me. Can’t throw me a bone and send a gravy candle my way. No, no, no – you think I want a sandwich with Cheetos on it. Well, KFC….

you. thought. wrong.

At this point, I want to be in the room at KFC when they’re discussing these ideas. How entertaining would that be? In a way, it’s marketing brilliance because we’re all obsessing over them. Oh…wait, what? That’s just me? I’m the only one laying awake at night wondering what their branding strategy is? Well, I’m embarrassed.

Anyway, hasn’t anyone at KFC ever heard the phrase, “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should?”

They should listen to the ever-wise scientist Jeff Goldblum. I believe it was Goldblum whom the history books wrote “could not tell a lie.” He also had wooden teeth, if I’m not mistaken. I could also be getting my historical figures mixed up. But, I’m at least 80% sure that was Jeff Goldblum they wrote about.

Anyway, this looks gross as hell.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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