Ladies and gentlemen, stop what you are doing and rejoice for the entire state of Maryland, as police have apprehended Anthony “Doo-Doo Butt” Brown!
In a joint effort between the Baltimore Police Department, the Southwestern Regional Police Department in York County, Pennsylvania, and the U.S. Marshals, a man identified as Anthony “Doo-Doo Butt” Ward was arrested in connection with a shooting that stemmed from a road rage incident.
Baltimore police said around 5:30 p.m. on Oct. 30, officers responded to the 3600 block of Frederick Road for a reported shooting where officers found a 20-year-old man suffering from gunshot wounds. He was taken to a hospital in stable condition.
Baltimore police said a preliminary investigation shows the shooting stemmed from an accident in the 400 block of Yale Avenue when a man riding a dirt bike hit the victim’s vehicle, causing damage. Citywide Shooting detectives investigated the incident and determined that Ward, 21, was the shooting suspect.
Well, it took a team effort and nearly two months, but Doo-Doo Butt is off the streets of Baltimore.
I’m not going to lie, though – and this is NOT a shot at Baltimore because it is just an absolutely LOVELY city – I’m disappointed in the journalism performed by WBALTV. Y’all really going to drop “Anthony “Doo-Doo Butt” Ward” in a headline and then NOT tell us how the fuck someone earns the nickname “Doo-Doo Butt?”
I have to know more about this man. Why does he go by “Doo-Doo Butt?” Is he a literal doo-doo butt? I think the last time I heard this term, I was in the first grade. Is it possible that Anthony Ward is actually a first grader who stole a car and shot a dirt cyclist? There are so many questions surrounding this story. It’s not so cut and dry once you dig into the meat of it, y’know?
Then again, I might not want to know how he earned this nickname. Maybe he collects other people’s doo-doo in his butt. Whew – sorry, guys – that’s just my imagination running wild. I don’t know what to think.
As an outlaw name, though, it leaves a little to be desired. Like, what’s your emotional response to hearing that nickname? Is it going to strike fear in the hearts of your enemies? Or, are they going to laugh at you? I don’t know – I think if I was known as “Doo-Doo Butt,” then I would seriously evaluate my social circle and maybe think about getting some new friends to commit crimes with.
For the record, though, I will say that this could 1000000% work as a rapper name.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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