Nashville Man Claims He Has Drugs That Increase Intelligence, Also Arrested for Being Weird Af

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Big bit of news out of Nashville this week, folks. And, considering that we are the Music City’s preeminent source for the most important news of the day, I thought, “well, I just have to share it.”

Apparently, some weirdo was at a hotel dropping tons of money, on drugs, with a gun on him. All the ingredients for a shit show.

Courtesy of Fox17:

Metro Nashville Police arrested a 39-year-old at the JW Marriot bar after making “bizarre” statements and dropping $22,000 in tips.

According to the arrest affidavit for Joel D. Boyers, police were contacted by a friend after exchanging texts which raised concern about his welfare. According to the friend, Boyers stated he was taking drugs which “increased his intelligence” and made other statements about giving his child away on Facebook.

We just gonna glaze over this fact, Fox17? You just going to pretend like this isn’t the bombshell of the century?!?!

The man has drugs that increase his intelligence!

This headline should be “Nashville Man Finds Limitless Pill.” I mean, the implications of this news are YUGE. Sure, he’s making people uncomfortable. He’s probably a menace to society and all that. But, no one’s at least going to engage him on this? Someone should’ve at least ASKED.

“Hey, man….uh…what do you mean ‘drugs that increase your intelligence?”

Fox17, if y’all would’ve asked that, you’d have national attention right now. SMDH.

I’ll ask it!

Joel D. Boyers, if you’re reading this, please tell me more about your smart pills.

The friend also added Boyers had been drinking and was carrying a firearm. Upon arrival to the bar, staff advised police he was causing a disturbance because waitresses were competing to serve him after he gave several tips totaling around $22,000.

That doesn’t sound like a disturbance. That sounds like socialism! Come on, y’all – it’s 2019. Sounds to me like we’re just trying to create a narrative that doesn’t fit.

You call it a disturbance….I say it sounds like a reality TV show.

Police say records show Boyers had purchased over a dozen drinks from the room minibar and had consumed two other drinks at the hotel bar. Police took a gun from Boyers he had in his pants pocket and arrested him on charges of public intoxication and possession of a firearm while intoxicated.

Yeah, you know what? The gun complicates things. I’m going to side with the police on this one. Probably best to just nip that situation in the bud.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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