The title might shock some people, but with the recent news out of Oklahoma, this is a serious question that must be asked.
Ever been so horny you are willing to risk it all? Maybe shoot a late night “you up” text? Maybe watch some strange porn at an inappropriate time/place? Hell, who am I to judge?
This guy from Oklahoma hit the all time high of risking it all – like his job, freedom, and even life.
Police in Tulsa, Oklahoma, are searching for a man who crashed his car into the glass doors of an adult novelty shop, then ran inside and stole lingerie and sex toys.
Police say the heist at Hustler Hollywood happened at about 3 a.m. Monday, when the store was closed. It was captured on video. Employees discovered the damage later Monday morning when they came to work.
Police Officer Jeanne Pierce tells Tulsa TV station KOTV that authorities believe the man knew the store’s layout because he ran directly to one section to steal the items, which were valued at about $300 to $400.
This really makes me wonder what was going on. Endless possibilities here. Maybe he was a disgruntled employee who was out for revenge against the shop.
Maybe he hid a few Viagra in an Advil bottle and accidentally took them (I wouldn’t know from experience) and needed a release. Maybe he got a text from his dream girl saying my parents are away but you can only come over if you bring a couple butt plugs and a jar of peanut butter.
Whatever the reason, the thought of driving a car through the store to steal some sexual novelties is a bold strategy.
Once again, I’m not here to judge. We are all here in the trust tree, but it really raises the question, “how horny can you get?”
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
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