Well….it was bound to happen eventually. My curiosity just couldn’t be contained. Last week, sitting in an AirBnB with several of my closest wrestling buddies, watching Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3, I caught my first professional wrestling death match.
And, here’s the thing – I feel like people often lose sight of the fact that professional wrestling is still entertainment. It’s like taste – everyone has their own unique palate. We entertain ourselves in order to check out of the real world for a little bit. If something relaxes you or helps you de-stress, then by all means, you should pursue those interests.
Wrestling is not some objective medium through which we can quantify how happy one should be because it means something different to everyone. For instance, I realized this week that I’m a HUGE fan of comedy wrestling….the real stuff….not WWE’s toilet humor bullshit. Never really put two and two together until I saw an Orange Cassidy “chop.” Should I be judged because I find enjoyment in that? HELL NO!
My point being that wrestling fans are overly critical to begin with – if you don’t like what I like, then you’re just wrong! That seems to be the mantra, anyway. There aren’t enough people saying, “to each his own.”
So, I’m not going to sit here and condemn death match wrestling. It has an important place in the world. If it didn’t, no one would watch it, and so, it wouldn’t exist. But, I was never drawn to it.
The idea of it bothered me, actually. I just thought, “why? Why are these guys doing stuff like this to themselves?” Just at a basic level, it didn’t make sense to me as a guy who values stories over most things in wrestling. But, when the boys wanted to watch it, I tuned into Jimmy Lloyd and Masashi Takeda alongside them. I gave it a chance.
The verdict: I didn’t hate it. Kinda surprised by that. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it either. Part of me felt like I was watching some Faces of Death shit….like….at any moment, I could watch someone actually die. Maybe that’s the thrill of it to begin with?
When Lloyd got a pair of scissors stuck in his chest and thought he might have slit his throat open, I thought I was going to puke. I just kept thinking, “man, they are wasting a fuck ton of light tubes. Someone somewhere probably has a pretty practical use for those.”
But, in a way, I admired the creativity of affixing fucking scissors to a damn board and seeing how it could fuck somebody up. There was something interesting about finding innovative ways to punish each other. By the end of the match, I was saying things like, “pffffttt…..his arm? He should have put that weed whacker in his face!”
I felt barbaric, but this guttural sense of appreciation came over me by the end of the match.
I still don’t like how nonsensical it seems from a story standpoint, and I damn sure don’t understand why anyone would want to put themselves through that shit. But, I could see a death match being a reasonable conclusion to a blood feud….something deeply personal and built on a foundation of rage and hatred.
The important thing is – I paid attention to the crowd and how many people were enjoying it. That’s it what it’s all about, folks. The bottom line of this message is simple: let people enjoy what they enjoy and approach things with an open mind. That simple.
I might even watch another death match in the future – how about that? Just goes to show the importance of getting out of your comfort zone.
More WrestleMania Week Coverage
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Candidates For Joey Janela’s Spring Break 4
Christos Mini Mart And Pizzeria Review (Jersey City)
IWTV: Family Reunion Recap
Marko Stunt Discusses His Return To Wrestling Last Week
Mose’s Favorite Mania Weekend Matches
NXT TakeOver: New York – Results And Match Ratings
The SoBros’ WrestleMania Week In Tweets
Southern Underground Pro’s Six Man Tag Match Was Over A Year In The Making
Stoney’s Top 10 WrestleMania Week Matches
Who Was The 2019 WrestleMania Week MVP?
WrestleMania 35: Results And Match Ratings
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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