I should preface this by saying I have absolutely no sources telling me that Joey Janela’s Spring Break 4 will actually happen next year in Tampa. So, I hope no one’s reading this like, “oh SHIT – it’s CONFIRMED!”
I’m just assuming things because that’s what speculative journalism is all about. You don’t have to have facts and sources as long you’re “speculative,” and we all know that’s the best type of journalism that the most people consume.
Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’d like to take this opportunity to commend GCW and Joey Janela for a tremendous two-night event in Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 last Friday and Saturday night. What an entertaining roller coaster of emotion.
But, as we all know too well, the grind don’t sleep. Just like in every other sport, you can only celebrate one victory for so long before it’s on to the next one. It’s time to get busy planning for 2020, and that’s where I feel like we here at the SoBros Network have the ability to help.
We have a good eye for talent (I once said Matt Riddle was going to be good, NBD). So, I’ve compiled a list of 10 guys I’d book if I were in GCW and Janela’s shoes that will maximize profits and garner mainstream media attention like never before.
Candidates for Joey Janela’s Spring Break 4
Buff Bagwell – I know he’s still in the game because I saw him work the Gladeville Community Center back in 2016. If you’re working 2016, why couldn’t you work 2020? That’s logic, folks. Can you imagine the pure sex of getting him, Sexxxy Eddy, and Effy in the ring at the same time? All the bare ass moonsaults you can imagine.
The Wall – JJSB needs a big bad, and they don’t get any bigger and badder than the guy who is so big and bad you can apparently see him on top of a skyscraper from a mile away….
Fake Razor Ramon and Diesel – Okay, maybe Fake Diesel will be a bit harder to get, but I think Janela and company set a great precedent by bringing in the great impostors of the 1990s in 2019.
Grizz – That’s right – the mascot of the NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies. Janela has shown an obvious propensity for outside-the-box bookings for Spring Break. Booking this workin’ bear would definitely bring in the Memphis audience, who are the only people on the planet that watch Grizzlies games.
Tekno Team 2000 – JJSB is all about opportunity, and these guys never got a fair shake back in 1994. The Rock N Roll Express broke wrestling Twitter last Saturday night…err….Sunday morning. Maybe this iconic tag team could do the same in 2020.
New Jack – why hasn’t New Jack already been on Spring Break? FFS.
Robocop – A legend of the 1980s, Robocop is not just a star you can build a wrestling show around, but a star you can build an entire marketing campaign around. It’s just good business. Plus, he already has experience in the realm of professional wrestling. Remember, he saved Sting in WCW back in 1990.
Guy Fieri – Maybe the most famous man in America, Fieri would bring mainstream media appeal to JJSB. We already know JJSB brings out the biggest celebrities, as the guy from Wheatus entered The Greatest Clusterfuck this year, so Fieri is the logical next step in celebrity appearances.
Akebono – JJSB is all about (judging by this article, JJSB is “all about” a lot of things) bringing in the finest talent from Japan. Little known fact: Akebono is undefeated at WrestleMania. Has there ever been a Sumo Death Match? If not, Akebono is the perfect suitor to make that happen. Someone get Nick Gage on the phone quick.
The Kool Aid Man – OH YEAH!
MORE WRESTLEMANIA WEEK COVERAGE
AIW: Slumber Party Massacre Recap
Christos Mini Mart And Pizzeria Review (Jersey City)
IWTV: Family Reunion Recap
Mose’s Favorite Mania Weekend Matches
NXT TakeOver: New York – Results And Match Ratings
The SoBros’ WrestleMania Week In Tweets
Stoney’s Top 10 WrestleMania Week Matches
Who Was The 2019 WrestleMania Week MVP?
WrestleMania 35: Results And Match Ratings
Image credit: The Asbury Park Press
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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