Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
Would you rather eat a bowl full of poop for $1000 or drink a glass full of pee for $10
— sobrostan (@sobrostan) May 9, 2019
Answer:
You trying to make me fuckin’ puke, Stan? jfc, man – give me the piss. I’m #TeamPee all day. Not a money guy whatsoever – that $1000 will come soon enough, but I can’t do poop. It’s a thing with me – I hate that humans have to poop and if there was a way to make all the madness stop, I’d do it. I sound insane right now, and that’s fine – I don’t care. I hate poop. It’d take a lot more money to get me to eat a bowl of it.
Question:
If Nashville gets a MLB team, what’s the best name for the franchise?
— Herbie Brooks (@SoBroHerbie_B) May 9, 2019
Answer:
Can it be the Nashville Kid Rocks? Or, the Nashville Bachelorettes? I mean, in all seriousness, I think the ‘Music City’ trope is a little overplayed these days. We need something new – remember when people were lobbying for the Titans to be called the Copperheads? The ‘Nashville Copperheads’ of Major League Baseball plays well in my opinion.
Question:
How do you feel about gas prices? Do we even need gas now that vehicles run on dog saliva? @Honda you know what I’m talking about!
— Brandon Vick (@SirBrandonV) May 9, 2019
Answer:
Damn it, Brandon – have you been putting dog slobber in your car again? For fucks sake, man – you’re going to ruin the engine.
Question:
What’s your favorite conspiracy theory?
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) May 9, 2019
Answer:
I love all conspiracy theories. The crazier, the better – as long as you can reasonably piece things together, I mean. The first one I remember really grabbing my attention was 9/11 being an inside job. But, that stuff isn’t really….positive…I guess is the word. For me, I love the conspiracy about Michael Jordan going to play baseball because he had a gambling problem and was secretly serving a suspension. I love the theory that the Denver Airport is some secret HQ for the New World Order (not the Hulk Hogan version). My favorite, though, would have to be the supposed weather-controlling HAARP. Good shit – I think Rooster and I are going to do a podcast on some of these soon.
Question:
What’re your top 5 ‘local’ delicacies to be had in Nashville? Hot chicken is excused since it’s been stolen by bearded hipsters
— Dom Oxenham-Morris – Tunes to the bime (@doxom85) May 10, 2019
Answer:
Anything off the tapas menu at Barcelona Wine Bar – I mean, I really can’t pick just one. Catch 22’s Cheerwine red pepper wings, Nectar’s Dos Perros Brisket taco, The Pharmacy’s stroganoff burger, and McNamara’s scotch eggs would round out my top five.
Question:
How could you forget what day it is?! (Not my official question, btw). Who would win if Darth Vader and the Night King got in to a bar brawl?
— Armondo (@mightymondo) May 10, 2019
Answer:
It’s been a fuckin’ stressful MONTH Armondo. Content’s been slow. We’re changing up things on the site from the ground up. A lot going on behind the scenes that I’ve lost sleep over. I’m a shell of my former self. That’s how my days are slipping together.
Oh, and Darth Vader owns the Night King – NK can’t even get close. Darth Vader just chokes him out using the force as he approaches. Done – over. I love the NK but we don’t really know the extent of his magic…so based off of what we’ve seen, I gotta say he’s 0-2 now (after the loss to Thanos, too).
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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