The current state of the Nashville transit situation is pretty bleak. So bleak that they’re letting people take scooters on joyrides down crowded streets just so people can get from Point A to Point B quickly. It’s an absolute wreck. People got their babies on their backs riding around. Middle aged women are face planting on Broadway. All kinds of weird and crazy shit.
I haven’t covered the issue a whole lot on this website – mainly because I think it’s overplayed, and it’s not really our style. Reporting facts? Pshhhhh, that’s bullshit. We’re opinion people on this brand, and while every now and then, a piece of honest journalism will trickle out from me, I wouldn’t say it’s my specialty. I’ll leave that to the people who do it for a living – everything I’ve ever tried to write about the Nashville transit issues has been bland, doesn’t sound SoBros-y at all, and I’ve ended up trashing it.
Why? Because I can do little more than bitch about the issue myself. I don’t really want to chime in, because I can’t offer a solution. And, we all know that if you can’t offer a solution, you’re just bitching and moaning for the sake of bitching and moaning.
Nobody likes that. Nobody likes a bitch.
But, folks, I am here today on this fine Wednesday morning in July to say that I think I’ve finally figured out the solution to all of our problems.
It’s time the city of Nashville gives Chick-fil-A a phone call.
That’s right, Chick-fil-A, the southern institution of fried chicken and proprietor of the chicken sandwich. That one. Have you ever been to a Chick-fil-A drive-through? Let me tell you a little story about my Chick-fil-A.
I live out in Hermitage. So, when I get a hankerin’ for a spicy chicken sandwich, I just shoot up Old Hickory Blvd., and frequent the Chick-fil-A that sits out in front of the Golden Corral. It used to be that I’d have to set aside a good chunk of my lunch break just to make it through the drive-through and order my spicy chicken sandwiches.
Some days, I didn’t get to enjoy that tasty heat because the line was far too long. More often than not, it was blocking the parking lot so I couldn’t even get in to park and go eat. It appeared as though Chick-fil-A had gotten too big for its britches. More people wanted it than they could serve.
So, what did they do?
They called in a construction company (this is an assumption not fact-checked based on modern journalistic standards), closed the restaurant for a bit, and proceeded to remodel the entire drive-through. Instead of sending you through the parking lot, you now drive around the parking lot. AND, they added a second lane. So, it alleviates some of the congestion and speeds up the process of acquiring tasty chicken.
It was a stroke of genius, and now that Hermitage Chick-fil-A drive-through runs like a well oiled machine. If I had to put a guesstimate on it, I’d say, they’re probably making roughly $300,000,000 a day at that location alone. All because their braintrust had the wherewithal to identify a transit issue and resolve it effectively….*scoff* beautifully.
With such a tremendous job being done right underneath our very noses, how could we, Nashville, not reach out to Chick-fil-A to ask for their help in transforming how we think about transportation in the Music City?
So, there it is. I don’t want to take my victory lap just yet, but I may have just single-handedly come up with the cure for what ails us. What an essay.
And, I’m going to ahead and try to stave off some of these questions I’ll inevitably get – no, I’m not interested in running for mayor.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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