Ever farded so loudly that cops found you?
Shit – there’s no decent way to set up this story. I got nothing guys – unbelievable. Just take a look.
According to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office Facebook post, a photo was posted of the search. Authorities added that while officials were looking for an individual wanted on a drug charge, the person passed gas. Loudly. So loudly that deputies were able to locate the suspect’s hiding place.
“If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a day,” the post said.
This is why you don’t hold in your farts, ladies and gentlemen.
A) It’s bad for you. Pretty sure your stomach can literally explode. B) It’s eventually going to force itself out of your anus at the worst possible moment – like when you’re running from the cops because of a drug charge.
Can you imagine how tense that moment probably was? Person was probably sitting there just clinching like their life depended on it. “Please don’t fart, please don’t fart, please don’t fart” – next thing you know, BOOM – farded. Maybe even shidded….we don’t know. The cops were on it.
I know cops probably have a lot more serious stuff to deal with – but walking into someone’s rank ass emission can’t be enjoyable. You hear the fart, and you HAVE to run towards it, right? It’s literally the job – apprehend the bad guys, no matter how much they farded.
I would be so pissed. I don’t like to encourage this sort of thing, but there might be some police brutality involved if I have to inhale your stank ass. Every judge in America would understand that.
Or, maybe this suspect was so hopped up on drugs that they couldn’t tell their butt was burping. I mean, I really don’t understand how you can’t just hold it in until the smoke blows over.
Listen I just watched the Steve Martin Pink Panther movie last week, so maybe it’s because that’s still fresh on my brain, but this definitely seems like some Steve Martin Pink Panther bullshit.
I think there’s a premise for a screenplay somewhere in this.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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