There’s a new Mizzou tiger statue on campus and boy is it something. I don’t know why they needed a new one. College football is a weird world when it comes to tradition – I guess someone looked around the stadium and thought, “hmmmm……needs more Mizzou tiger statue…” and here we are.
We’re faced with this legitimate mutant creature nightmare fuel:
BREAKING: New Mizzou tiger statue has webbed feet and may have killed Newman in Jurassic Park. pic.twitter.com/Cd8vL7tmB4
— Saturday Down South (@SDS) August 12, 2019
What the fuck is this? I’m not even trying to be funny about this. I am legitimately angry looking at this. Who puts webbed feet on a tiger????? I mean, listen – if this is some high evolutionary of tigers….one that’s developed webbed feet so that it can swim out to capture underwater prey….SOMEBODY let me know, so I can quit yelling like a dumbass. But, I don’t see it, y’all.
We’re freaking out about the webbed feet and the rigid, raised jowls….but has anyone noticed that that looks like a human arm?
I don’t know much about tiger anatomy, but I didn’t think that they had human arms. Again, feel free to educate me – but I’m willing to bet right now that tigers don’t have human arms.
*sigh*
Also, that thing looks like it’s made of paper mache. Who constructed this? The children of the Mizzou coaching staff? Is this for a school project? Shit, I’m going to feel bad if this is actually for a school project.
This is like the Ronaldo statue all over again.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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