Don’t ask me for suggestions on how to trim trees. I’m certainly no expert on the matter outside of, “get some pruners and take out the limbs you need.” Truthfully, I had never in my life wondered how they even trimmed trees adjacent to power lines and stuff like that until I saw this fucking maniacal video pop up on my Twitter feed.
I want to be in the meeting where this idea was proposed pic.twitter.com/Bf5KpQF716
— Tariq Rauf (@tariqrauf) September 18, 2019
I counted…what is that? TEN SPINNING BLADES OF DEATH!?!?!
That seems certifiably insane – like, who suggests this? I’m imagining someone calling a board meeting…“guys, we need to figure out how to keep these tree limbs from effecting the power lines.” Some guy stands up, knowing that was his moment…he’s been sitting and stewing on this idea for YEARS and THIS is his chance to share it.
“Let’s strap 10 blades to a big piece of metal, and swing it around the woods from a helicopter.”
*Executive bangs fist on the table*
“Damn it, Biggins! That’s EXACTLY why we hired you! Get that shit into production NOW!”
And, that’s how you trim trees next to power lines, folks. That’s how this whole crazy thing got started. It’s like someone asked The Joker how he would remedy this situation. Then, when he said something bat shit crazy like “swinging chainsaws from a helicopter,” NO ONE called him on it. They were just like, “ah, yeah – that makes sense. That could work.”
I mean, it’s efficient. Let’s not kid ourselves. But, I don’t think I’d wanna be anywhere within a five-mile radius of that helicopter. Think of the damage that could do if it went into a neighborhood or something.
Maybe this is how the horror genre ups its game. We’ve had serial killers wielding knives for way too long. Let’s get some psychopath in a chainsaw death blade helicopter and let ’em fuck shit up!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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