I will start off by saying that I do not condone drinking and driving in the slightest, but for the sake of satire, here we go…
A Wisconsin appeals court has ruled that operating a riding mower while drunk carries the same penalties as driving a car while intoxicated.
How about this guy, Keith Shoeder? He was charged with a DUI when he was pulled over for driving a lawnmower drunk. Now some of you may be thinking, “leave the guy alone, he was just mowing his lawn and having some beers.” Don’t worry, that was initially my first reaction too.
Turns out, my man, Keith, was driving on the road on the way home from the Tavern! Keith straight up drove his lawnmower to his local watering hole, got after it, then fired up his lawnmower to drive back home.
(Editor’s note: In Nashville, this practice is known as “the ol’ George Jones)
I initially was like “what would make a man drive his lawnmower over his car?” Turns out, this was the 4th, offense for our buddy, Keith. Honestly cannot blame the effort here. His defense was that he was not operating a motor vehicle, but an all-terrain vehicle and the penalties should not be the same. He gave it a hell of an effort.
In all seriousness, let’s hope Keith gets some help and an Uber app. PS – Uber lawnmower? Now we are talking!! Imagine sitting home, wife runs out, you tell her you’ll mow the lawn. You fire up the app, 5 minutes later someone is pulling into your driveway to cut the grass?
They finish, wife comes home, and you look like a hero. #sharktank
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
Image courtesy of Daniel Watson on Unsplash!
