Have low energy? Need to get that dick of yours super hard?! Or, I guess, a more responsible and inclusive way of asking that would be, “do you need a boost to your libido?” Well, I just might have the solution for you, and it just might be giving your butthole a good old fashioned sunbathe.
Folks, in all my years, I never thought I’d see the day that I’d be covering the merits of tanning your butthole for a major reputable news source such as SoBros Network. But, as it turns out, there’s an Instagrammer out there who is promoting the idea that you should partake in this unusual sounding activity. Apparently, 30 seconds of sun on your butthole is like a full day in the sun with your clothes on.
She explains that suntanning your asshole is meant to promote the “health & longevity of the physical body,” increase “creativity and creative output” and aid “in a healthy libido & balanced sexual energy.”
Well, what else do you need to hear from me? Get out there and point that taint at the sky, people!
We’re always looking for ways to save time, right? Just can’t fit in that 15 minutes at the gym. Can’t spend half an hour to cook dinner. Just gonna be a lazy piece of shit and eat a cheeseburger. Well, there’s no excuse to not spread them cheeks and set a 30-second timer. Doesn’t even matter if people can see you – they’re the weird ones if they’re looking.
I cannot wait to bring this up at Thanksgiving this week and hopefully encourage my family to be healthier people. They will surely thank me.
Hell, I might start a morning routine of getting some sun in my bum. It’s just so efficient. I mean, you guys know how much I care about getting a good tan and feeling energetic.
I do have a question that maybe someone who specializes in anatomy can help me with, though. Does the asshole serve as like a charging portal for your penis/vagina? Is sunlight on the butthole the equivalent of plugging a charger into a phone?
Inquiring minds need to know.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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Image courtesy of Tim Foster on Unsplash!
