Ah, the things that can happen when you’re drunk at Target. A couple of weeks ago, me and a few other SoBros ventured down to Catch 22 in Mount Juliet. After more than a few beers, we were all ready to go settle in for the night and enjoy a cozy evening in because we’re all old fucking men now. But, the girlfriend needed to stop by Target, and that’s where a little bit of magic happened. Not sex, sorry, no – I found a trial size of Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Beer Soap made with Old Milwaukee. Old Milwaukee is, of course, a staple of Americana.
I was poking around the DVDs, probably looking for a stray copy of MacGruber (I don’t particularly remember), when I looked up and saw our very own reigning 2019 SoBro of the Year, John Mosley, walking towards me. I legit thought I was hallucinating – “wtf is Mose doing here? I just saw him and he was at Catch 22, not Target.” So, I watched him walk around me for a minute before I realized it was real. Turns out, his wife needed to stop at Target, so we were perusing the electronics. We walked up front, or shit – we could’ve teleported to the men’s grooming section for all I remember.
Both of us found this Big Ass Beer Soap made with premium Old Milwaukee. I sniffed the box. He sniffed the box. We both said, “damn,” and decided we’d try it out.
I couldn’t be happier with my decision. I might actually rank this among the 10 best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.
It’s a nice, pungent musk – smells like the very essence of rolling up your sleeves and putting in a hard day’s work. I immediately thought of my Uncle Jack, who would drink Old Milwaukee like it was his life force. That first smell took me back to those days when I was a kid and no one really knew how much Uncle Jack had had to drink. If I could boil it all down to one word, I’d say this soap smells like ‘respect.’
I’ve had the Buffalo Trace soap before, and it was also a home run. But, this Old Milwaukee gimmick is the way to go. I’ve never felt more like a damn man in my life.
I reached out to Mose to ask him what his thoughts on this fine soap were, and he replied with, “Haley asked if I drank a beer in the shower after using this soap. Will be using again.”
That’s a win, folks.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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