Everyone Has the Coronavirus According to This Dude Who Was on Meth and Swung at a Police Officer

Some methhead was caught on the interstate throwing shoes and swinging at police officers, and he also said everyone has the coronavirus.

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Ya hate to see it, folks. We might…maybe…just maybe….have a lead on this crazy coronavirus story. It all just depends on whether or not you believe someone under the influence of fucking meth is a credible source on such a matter. We have plenty of those people here in the midstate, and it just so happens that one of ’em, indeed, was rambling about the coronavirus….on the middle of the interstate…

Courtesy of the fine folks at WKRN:

A 33 year-old man, who admitted to using meth, has been arrested after walking onto Interstate 40 near Bellevue and attempting to punch an officer, a police report alleges.

This story is wild as hell. Apparently, this man was out on the damn interstate trying to flag down cars. He also threw his fucking shoe at the police officer and started saying that everyone has coronavirus.

Here’s the thing, though….did anyone check on this? I know it’s a sensitive subject and all, but shit, y’all. We gotta take every precaution we can. This is one of those things you just don’t fuck around with. Even if the dude who is hopped up on meth and is throwing shoes at police officers on the middle of the interstate says it, I don’t think you’re doing your job as a person that examines whether or not people have coronavirus if you let this opportunity slip through the cracks.

I don’t make the rules of thorough science and/or journalism. They just exist. Being thorough would be asking this guy to check his sources. Was it the CDC?! President Trump? The guy from The Walking Dead that said there was no cure for whatever caused all the dead people to come back to life? Oh shit – he was with the CDC. My bad.

I’m sure my lawyers would like for me to state plainly for you guys that this post is meant to be satirical.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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