Let’s get to it, folks. Today, I will walk you through my patented recipe for the Nashville hot baked potato pictured above.
Oh, wait. Shit. My bad. I’m supposed to write approximately 800 words on what inspired me to create this dish. Y’know…like….I climbed a mountain, and at the very top, the Nashville hot baked potato came to me as a message from a talking mountain goat, I achieved nirvana, and returned to Tennessee destined to create this culinary masterpiece.
Everyone loves reading a long drawn-out story when they’re searching the web for a brand new recipe to try out. So, I want to make sure I don’t deprive them of such enjoyment.
What You’ll Need
- One of those potatoes from Kroger that you can put in the microwave.
- A knife.
- Some sour cream.
- Some Nashville hot seasoning from Kroger.
- A plate to put the potato on.
- A fork to eat the potato.
Directions
First things first, you’re going to want to make sure you have a microwave. Otherwise, I don’t have a fuckin’ clue how you would make a baked potato. I’m a pretty smart guy but the physics of how you take a raw potato, which is supposed to be hard and firm, and you make it soft and fluffy is just beyond my level of comprehension.
I have always admired people who could make a baked potato. So, if you don’t have a microwave, you need to stop reading this right now.
Okay, those left, I’m assuming, do have a microwave.
So, here’s what you do. You take the sticker off the wrapper of the baked potato. You open the microwave. Then, put the potato in. You’ll shut the microwave door. Punch in 10 minutes. Finally, you press ‘start’ or ‘go’ or ‘baked potato’ or whatever your microwave does.
After it’s done, you take the potato out of the microwave and then get your knife. Cut the potato in half. Then, you can also use your knife to spread the sour cream over the potato. Be careful, though, because the potato will be hot. Shit. I should’ve mentioned that right after the part about taking the potato out of the microwave. Anyway, be careful if you don’t get enough sour cream on the knife the first time. You’ll have to double dip and then you run the risk of leaving little bits of potato in the tub of sour cream.
Then, you take the Nashville hot seasoning and you sprinkle it over the potato to your liking. WARNING: Nashville hot seasoning is hot so be careful. If you’re unsure of whether or not you can tolerate it, I would recommend eating a tablespoon of the seasoning before committing to it on your potato. If you incur a great amount of pain, that’s when you’ll know that you probably don’t want to put any on your potato.
After that, you’re ready for your plate! Get the plate and put the potato on it.
It’s probably sanitary to put the potato on the plate to begin with, but to each his own. Some of you might be okay with preparing a baked potato on a countertop. I don’t know and I’m not here to judge.
Then, you take your fork (presumably clean) and you stab the potato. Take what bits of the potato that cling to the fork and place them in your mouth.
Enjoy.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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