Big L for #TeamToot today. If you love farting in people’s faces, this quarantine just got a whole lot less fun. As it turns out, it’s not ideal -OR- considerate to let your farts out around people because it might actually give them the coronavirus (COVID-19 is the official doctor terminology to use, in case you didn’t know).
SHOCKING news, I know. But, this is part of what we do and promote here at SoBros Network. Learning from smart people, taking their advice and promising to change.
Speaking on the Coronacast podcast Dr Norman Swan said people should avoid farting near one another to stop the spread of coronavirus. He added it was everyone’s responsibility not to pass wind close to another person and “that you don’t fart with your bottom bare”.
Turns out, traces of that motherfucker can dip out with your feces. Doubly crushing blow that we can’t bare ass fart anymore either. That was always the greatest prank you could play in social settings. Got a group together to play Yahtzee? Pull down those pants and blow ass. It never fails – some people are disgusted, some vomit, some laugh, some cry – it is an Oscar-worthy performance that draws emotion out of everyone regardless.
Add that to the list of things that COVID-19 has taken from us. What joy we had left – farting on our significant others and children…..it’s gone.
But, with that comes the opportunity to do some good in this world. It’s time we take this virus seriously and stop farting on people. This is also the perfect place to remind y’all to clean them buttholes out there. Help stop coronavirus – drop your farts in secure settings only.
I hope this e-mail finds you safe and sound.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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