Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
Stan’s Picks
Folks, if I told you that I had an investment opportunity with a 75% chance of doubling your investment, you would think I was lying. You would think I was some sort of penny stock pushing twitter scam. Well folks the #tankthe401k machine is on a 9/12 hot streak and we are just warming up. If you do not follow these picks and share them with 10 of your friends, you will have bad sex for the next 10 years…… I think that’s how those old email chains went…..Anyway let’s make some money!
Clemson -28 – I hate laying this many points. Absolutely hate it. Clemson thrashed Virginia last year, has a better team this year, and is playing at home. My only fear here is starters playing in the second half, but In Dabo we trust.
Cowboys -4.5 – I’m not sold on the Browns and I think Dallas is going to be hungry after the close game with the Seahawks. This one goes easy win or huge loss.
New Orleans -4 – The Matt Patricia hot seat continues. New Orleans comes out firing after the loss to Green Bay.
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
Stoney’s Picks
Big time rebound week for your boy to get me into the win column on 2020. I love love LOVED Stan’s pick of Tampa Bay last week, and would’ve hammered that one home if he didn’t get the pick in before me, so I’m technically going to give myself 4-0. Anyway, I don’t really love the lines this week, but hey – we’ve got a fucking job to do here, and I intend on doing it.
Vols -11.5 – I don’t think this Vols team is going to blow out a lot of people on their schedule this season, but Mizzou is definitely one of those. The Tigers are in a big time rebuilding year, and I think the Vols absolutely overwhelm them in Knoxville.
Mississippi State -17 – Defense by offense, baby. I’m completely here for the Mike Leach SEC train. These Bulldogs are going to absolutely light up Arkansas, and the Razorbacks just won’t have the firepower to keep up with Heisman hopeful KJ Costello and company. This one might get out of hand early.
Bears +2.5 – I’m here for the Nick Foles spark. The Bears defense can frustrate Philip Rivers and company, and Foles can manage the offense to a comfortable home win.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s 2020 W-L: (5-1) – 83%
- Stan Last Week: (2-1)
- Stoney’s 2020 W-L: (4-2) –67%
- Stoney Last Week: (3-0)
- SoBros 2020 W-L: (9-3) – 75%
- SoBros Last Week: (5-1)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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