Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
Stan’s Picks
How does one bounce back from their first losing week? You put your big boy pants on, grab your nut sack, and ATTACK the board. Scared money don’t make money, so let’s go.
Florida -6.5 – Is Florida back? Have they ever left? Idk. I do know I’m just not over thinking things this week and this jumped off the board at me.
Falcons -2 – Must win for Atlanta. No other explanation. At home. Lots of blown leads. Have to turn it around now.
Seattle -7 – Prime time game. At home. Russell Wilson MVP campaign marches on.
We are sooooo back!!!!!!
Stoney’s Picks
Hot damn – not a good week for your boys. But, hey – we’re still winning on the season, and you can’t dig yourself out of a hole if you don’t keep digging, am I right?!?! I’m really high on Stan’s picks this week, specifically that Florida one – but for the sake of parity, I’m going to have to go in a different direction this week. Also, I’m not pullin’ the trigger on it – but I’m REALLY tempted by Browns +1.5…I think they’re better than people realize.
Tampa Bay -3.5 – I’ve seen this one hovering around -2.5 and -3, too. If you can get it at that, JUMP ON IT. I’ve thought for a couple of weeks now that the Bears were a bit of a phony 3-0. The quarterback issues are concerning, and now that Brady is finding his footing in that Bucs offense, I don’t think they’ll be able to keep up. I could see this one getting ugly, but at the very least, I think the Bucs win this one by four easy.
Oklahoma -2.5 – The Sooners’ season is on the brink here against Texas. This is the first time they aren’t in the top 25 in 15 years. They HAVE to win this one – I don’t think either of these teams is the playoff contender we thought they’d be. But, if Oklahoma has any shot at winning the Big 12 – they HAVE to win this game. I’m also giving Lincoln Riley the edge in a situation where both teams need the win. I like Oklahoma outlasting the Longhorns by a touchdown.
Alabama-Ole Miss, OVER 70 – Let’s fuckin’ go! I’m going to roll the dice and live a little here. Get the Jim Beam ready! Saban dominates his proteges. We’ve established that. But, I don’t know if they cover the massive spread. With Lane Kiffin coaching, this Ole Miss offense has improved immensely. I look for fireworks in this one – the only way I think they miss the over is if Alabama just comes out guns a blazin’ and wins this one 52-10 or something like that.
Conditional pick: Bills -1 – If this game actually happens, the Titans could be down their best defensive player, their best receiver on the season so far, and it ain’t like they’ve been smoking teams in their 3-0 start. The Bills are good and look like legit Super Bowl contenders – hate to go against my boys here, but this looks like $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s 2020 W-L: (6-3) – 67%
- Stan Last Week: (1-2)
- Stoney’s 2020 W-L: (5-4) –56%
- Stoney Last Week: (1-2)
- SoBros 2020 W-L: (11-7) – 61%
- SoBros Last Week: (2-4)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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