Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
Stan’s Picks
Slowly but surely, the #tankthe401k team is making a splash in the free gambling world. I don’t want to say my picks won’t always be free, but I’m looking to quit my real job and gambling might be the answer!
Speaking of gambling Twitter, I love the analysis and research some people put out there in their pick analysis. They watch game film and dissect matchups. I took the Raiders last week and used “Hunter Renfrow” as my reasoning. The haters are furious.
Anyway, I started a new tradition last week that I called the “Thursday night delight”. Since it hit, I feel obligated to ride the train and throw another Thursday game out there. I don’t feel it is my place to touch a Titans game, so I’ll leave that to the big guy and tackle the college game.
*Thursday night delight* Boise state -14 – The field is blue. What more do you need to know?
Panthers +5 – Carolina looked to have some pep in their step last week with the return of McCaffrey. I expect the Bucs to try and bounce back after getting embarrassed, but I still think the Panthers have a shot to win outright.
Dolphins -2.5 – Tua starts growing into his own in his second start. Chargers players go out in Miami and come in sluggish.
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
Stoney’s Picks
A solid week to keep the positive train going on Tank the 401k this season – big shout out to Stan for carrying my ass this season. Thank you for coming to this press conference, but I have nothing left to say – just games to pick.
Titans, PICK – Bet with your brain. Bet with your gut. But, you never bet with your heart. I know how this works, motherfuckers. But, I just can’t help myself tonight. This is a big time game for the AFC race, and the Titans just have a way of showing up in these big games. I think the defense continues on its upward trajectory and rattles the Colts offense into a mistake – that’ll be the difference in the game.
West Virginia -3 – Usually, I’d look at the fact that the money is comin’ in BIG TIME on West Virginia as an enormous red flag. But, in this case, I’m rollin’ with the Mountaineers. They’re 3-0, and TCU just isn’t very good. The Horned Frogs are undefeated on the road, but with those games coming against Texas and Baylor, they haven’t left the state of Texas yet.
Chargers-Dolphins, OVER 48 – Stan’s not the only one – this Chargers-Dolphins matchup is appetizing. These two offenses are putting points on the board as of late, and they’re allowing points on the board too. We’re just spittin’ out points all over the place. Easiest OVER of the weekend in my book.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s 2020 W-L: (13-10) – 57%
- Stan Last Week: (2-1)
- Stoney’s 2020 W-L: (11-13) –46%
- Stoney Last Week: (2-1)
- SoBros 2020 W-L: (24-23) – 51%
- SoBros Last Week: (4-2)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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