Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names, Year 7

It's a time-honored tradition here at SoBros Network. It's time to share some completely fake bowl names we made up.

Share This Post

I just simply can’t believe we’re on the SEVENTH year of Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names. It’s honestly one of my favorite pieces we run every year. Just because it’s so absurd and fun, but I don’t think I’ll ever write a better intro than I did several years ago, so let me trot that out again for 2020:

College football is weird, man. Not only can you not have a winning season and make it to a bowl game, but the millions of dollars floating around these games have created some pretty interesting names for the bowls themselves. There’s The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, The Dollar General Bowl, The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl, and The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl just to name a few. Those are real bowl names, too!

We haven’t even started listing our fake bowl names. That is real – and it’s a testament to the power of the dollar.

For the right price, you could slap any name on any bowl game, and ESPN and the NCAA would run with it. How else do you think the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl came to fruition?

So, yeah – what we’re doing here is providing a little bit of humor to get you through your work day. But, it’s also a bit of social commentary on the absurdity of the 80+ college football bowl games we’re getting ready to witness. It’s my favorite piece of the year.

On top of all of that, they hand out some really odd trophies. “Congrats on the fine season! Here’s this giant, polished BOWL OF ORANGES!” That tradition is made even weirder by the fact that the head coach, MVP, or someone usually starts taking the oranges out of the bowl and throwing them around to teammates. When did this become a thing?

Yeah – it’s crazy, but let’s cut the bullshit and get down to brass tacks – what follows is literally just a list of made-up bowl games. So, if you’re not into that, best be GTFO right now.

RIDICULOUSLY FABRICATED BOWL NAMES, YEAR 7

  • The Zoom Covid Bowl
  • The South Texas Kyle Chandler Football Classic
  • HBO Max presents The Seasonal Depression Bowl
  • The Lysol Global Pandemic Bowl (y’all know I’m gonna have a ton of these this year, right?)
  • The New York City Coronavirus Bowl sponsored by Arby’s
  • The Panda Express Vaccine Bowl
  • The Amazon Fresh Crippling Isolation Bowl
  • Lego presents The 1982 World’s Fair Bowl
  • The Chiquita Bananas MacGruber Bowl
  • The Waterford Crystal Jackass Bowl
  • The Werther’s Original Werther’s Original Bowl
  • The Netflix Casual Sex Bowl
  • The Music City O’Charley’s Football Classic brought to you by the Ravin Hotel
  • The Hilton Inn & Suites Nashville Hot Chicken Bowl
  • The Best Buy Geek Squad USB Port Bowl
  • The Texas Roadhouse Social Distancing Bowl
  • Geico presents the Painfully Obvious Social Injustice Bowl
  • The Fat Tire Flat Tire Bowl
  • The Krispy Kreme Conception Bowl
  • Pornhub’s Hard Dick Bonanza Bowl
  • Ryan Seacrest hosts the New Balance Conspiracy Theory Bowl
  • The Schlotzky’s Deli Stuffed Tummy Tum Bowl
  • The Chuck E. Cheese Hoax Bowl
  • The O’Doul’s Pussy Bowl
  • The Cheez-It Bowl (wait, FUCK – that one’s real)
  • The Traper Keeper Golden Boot Showdown
  • The Garden of Eden Bowl sponsored by that shitty statue of Cristiano Ronaldo
  • The Pokemon Go Furry Bowl
  • The Starbucks Gun Bowl
  • ESPN’s 30 for 30 presents The Olive Garden Breadstick Dildo Bowl

RIDICULOUSLY FABRICATED BOWL NAMES ARCHIVES

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore