Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
STAN’S PICKS
2-1 last week. Back in the win column. Gambling has taken years off my life. I have had such drastic swings these last few weeks. Gambling definitely isn’t for everyone. As I type this, I have had a huge losing day Monday, huge winning day Tuesday, rough Wednesday. Anyway, let’s win some money…
Colorado -1.5. This is a trap. I just can’t not take it though. 4-0 at home against 1-2 Utah. I’ll regret this one.
Cardinals -2. Giants coming off a big win come out hot and end up getting smacked.
Chiefs -7. Big test for the Dolphins, who have looked strong, but just don’t think they cover here.
Stoney’s Picks
JFC – the dreaded 0-3 week. That’s just my three Tank the 401k picks too, mind you. My week as a whole was pure dog shit. I think I won…four…five…of the roughly 14 bets I placed last weekend. The SoBros’ season is on the brinks and it’s entirely my fault. Shout out to Stan for carrying the team this season, but I gotta get things right on my end. LFG!
USC -2.5. I look for the Trojans to come out and make a statement with a spot in the Pac-12 Championship game on the line.
Saints -6.5. I like the promise of Jalen Hurts long-term, but in his first start, going against that Saints defense….I don’t know. I think this is going to be a comfortable win for New Orleans.
Browns +2. I’m not saying the Ravens are back after rocking a three-win Cowboys squad. This is a huge revenge game for the Browns, who got their shit kicked in by the Ravens back at the beginning of the season. That win over the Titans was huge in establishing credibility, but this is about establishing the Browns as a contender in the AFC. They get the job done this week.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s 2020 W-L: (21-15) – 58%
- Stan Last Week: (2-1)
- Stoney’s 2020 W-L: (16-20) – 44%
- Stoney Last Week: (0-3)
- SoBros 2020 W-L: (37-35) – 51%
- SoBros Last Week: (2-4)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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