Almost from the very beginning, you know Beastly is going to be a predictable, sappy mess. No matter how long you sit hoping it will get better, it never does. The movie is supposedly a modern spin on the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast, but nothing represents anything close to classic in this. It is a teen romance full of nonsense and stupidity.
Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) is the “it” guy at his school. He is handsome, popular, rich, and can have any girl he chooses. The problem is he knows all of this. So Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), the school witch, puts him in his place by putting a curse on him that turns him into a bald, tattooed monster and has one year to find true love or he will stay that way forever. And who is his true love? Vanessa Hudgens. She plays Lindy, a school writer who has always liked him, but was either too nervous or scared to actually talk to him.
Lindy and Kyle both have daddy issues but it’s pointless to even try to add depth to these characters. It is more trouble than it’s worth apparently since director Daniel Barnz didn’t even try to make these people halfway interesting or likeable. The only person who adds some entertainment to the movie is Neil Patrick Harris who plays Kyle’s blind tutor. He has a few lines that are funny, but please don’t think it makes the movie any better.
Beastly tries to preach about love and how looks do not matter. It is all about what is on the inside and how you treat others. But it is tough to care about any message when the movie itself never comes alive and feels fake all the way through. It has terrible dialogue and along with that comes horrible acting. It all starts with the script and story and it had to be a disaster from the beginning. Beastly should have never made to the big screen.
Brandon Vick is a member of The Music City Film Critics’ Association, the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and the star of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
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