We’ve all been there before. You’ve been out drinking with your friends on one of those fun summer nights when the weather’s just right and the vibe is on point. You’ve been on an excellent first date that gave you butterflies, and you’re thinking this just might be the one. You just watched Singin’ in the Rain and all of a sudden you’re lookin’ at a street light like that guy hidin’ between the trees from that meme, rubbin’ your hands together and lickin’ your lips. Essentially, you’re lookin’ at a street light like you’re both DTF. I’d post that meme, but the idea of that is kinda triggering since some dude threatened us with legal action for posting a meme once before. Regardless, you’re on cloud nine and nothing is going to set the night off right quite like a good ol’ swing around the pole (not innuendo, though the same could totally be said for dick).
— Adults Doing Shit (@Adultsdoingshit) January 21, 2021
What a quick and dramatic shift in the mood. This is one of those situations that you could never possibly envision yourself in and that makes me anxious. Aren’t street lights supposed to be at least a little sturdy? Like…they shouldn’t just keel over with the weight of a human being, right? Is this from an episode of Impractical Jokers and y’all just aren’t telling me? Have I been had by some fake shit on the internet AGAIN!? Regardless, what do you do in this situation? I’ll tell you – you freeze. Then, fight or flight kicks in and you’re either gonna run for the hills and hope no one can identify you in the future, or you own up to it, face the consequences, and try to alert the proper authorities.
Either way, it’s going to completely ruin the mood. You think you’re gonna get laid after this? This is like that occurrence that happens that sets you over the edge when you’re too drunk. One minute, you’re happy….the next, you’ve just WRECKED a street light and have no idea what to do with your life. Next up, you’re gonna puke. Definitely gonna puke. The collective *gasp* and the OOs and AHs following it was enough to put a pit in my stomach. The friend chimes in with a “KEEP WALKING! KEEP WALKING!” and now these folks are off to the races. So, we know how they handled it. Just push that shit right out of your memory immediately and keep moving. I don’t know if this was like a prop street light or what – definitely feels like some shit from the circus. But, it doesn’t matter – it did this man and his fanny pack DIRTY!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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