The SoBros Mailbag #155: Saturn Retrograde Shit……and Cheese

It's lunch time on a Friday. The SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…

Question, from E on Instagram:

What kinda gin we drinking for the holiday/what saturn retrograde shit we doing also want to say I’m so proud of yoooou


I am tempted to stop by the liquor store and stock up today, but I’m going to try and be fiscally responsible and just kill off this bottle of Aviation I’ve been workin’ on.

If I’m understanding Saturn retrograde properly, it sounds kinda like the parents are leaving me home alone for the weekend and I gotta figure out wtf I’m going to do. Also, seems like a lot of the blogs are suggesting a period of reflection? Fuck, I may already be there, E. I’ve been thinking about my life and where SoBros Network is at pretty heavily this week. Not going to lie – that kinda creeps me out. I found this little nugget on Cancers thanks to fuckin’ Cosmo of all places: “You’ve been doing a lot of ego work lately, and it’s brought you an awareness that you may have previously lacked. Now that you know where you stand, where does that place you with the people you’re connected to by resources?” I think I’ll get something done that I enjoy, and have been putting off for awhile – I don’t know, my inclination is to go go go when I’m feeling confident, and that’s where I’m at right now. But, you know what I’ve landed on if we’re just talking about Memorial Day? I’m gonna fuckin’ REST and I’m gonna take some more time to consider my place in my timeline…at least this weekend. I fully expected this answer to be a LOT different.



The scary thing is that our tech guys…the anonymous “Nerds Team,” as we call them…probably could come up with our own SoBroCoin, or maybe GinCoin – that’s a play on that Startup show on Netflix because that show is consuming my life right now. Anyway, I am all for drumming up different revenue streams for SoBros Network – I mean ffs, we sell advertising, we sell premium subscriptions, we sell sponsored posts, we sell shirts, we sell stickers, we sell my fucking toy collection and comic book collection from when I was a kid, all sorts of shit. Why not our own crypto? Sky’s the limit.



I can fuck my tummy up with this shit right here. Kerrygold’s Dubliner cheese with Irish Stout. So damn good – you can find the regular Dubliner in most grocery stores in the area, but you have to keep a keen eye out for the Irish Stout version (they also make a damn good Irish whiskey version, too). I first had it up in New Jersey because my fiancé’s mother works at a premium type grocery store up there and they got some in. Haven’t stopped chasing that cheese since.



I can live with a paper cut between the fingers – shit after I had poison ivy in between my fingers and toes, IN both of my eyes, and literally on my balls, I feel like I can handle any ‘between the ____’ situation. But, a charley horse in the middle of the night is the absolute worst. Not only are you in tremendous physical pain, but you also lose sleep and have to try and suffer without waking your partner. It’s intense, and I say “hard pass” on that.

Fun fact: I once challenged a friend to a dance off at a party. After eight consecutive hours of dancing, with only minimal breaks only for using the bathroom and getting a drink, I won. But, when I went to sleep that night, I could hardly move without every muscle in my body seizing up. I woke up in the middle of the night with my back, both arms, and both legs cramping up simultaneously. This was back when I still lived at home, so I woke up, couldn’t move, and literally just screamed until I woke my mother up and she could bring me some Tylenol and a bunch of bananas. Maybe having a charley horse in my ENTIRE BODY traumatized me.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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