By now, we’ve broken down all of these Nashville party bus type of vehicles. There are a million of them it seems. So much so that I can’t keep up. Barges, pontoons, tractors…there’s even a drag bus these days. And, hey – for a long time, I would shun the bachelorettes just like every other jaded Nashvillian. I would curse these fuckin’ things with a vitriol usually reserved for the Auburn Tigers on Saturdays in the fall (RTR).
That is, until a party bus owner chimed in on a recent edition of The SoBros Mailbag and said, “Why are they so popular? Its simple. Girls don’t want to dance with creepy guys. Party bus 1 creepy guys 0.” Since that moment, I’ve gained a little perspective, and if these things can provide women the chance to feel a little safer while they party, then I’m fine with it. I’ve been down on Broadway at 3AM on a Saturday morning. I know what the vibe can be like with some of those Grade A creepers around. So, fuck it – I’ll put my minor inconveniences in check for the greater good.
But, while I can get behind the idea of having a good time, what I absolutely can’t get behind is the drunk bro that takes things way too far.
Don’t be that fucking guy. We all know this guy, right? He’s just a little too extra…a little too over the top. It’s that guy you encounter at the bar who seems like he’s having a good time, and he seems to be acting like he wants you to have a good time with him, but you just have this weird gut feeling that you’re going to end up fist fighting (I almost typed ‘fist fisting’ and that would’ve been even better, to be honest) the guy at the end of the night.
We think we’re all just having a good time on a Saturday afternoon, but there’s always that one annoying dude that just takes the party vibes up way too far. This guy is cranking that up to 11 and the result was that he got carried away and chucked a can of booze into a moving vehicle. Who’s to say what actually happened here? It could be that he was trying to spread the party and was thinking that maybe the passenger in that vehicle would chug one with him in the spirit of the party. It could be that he just lost his bearings and the can slipped out of his hand.
Regardless, one thing that we most definitely know for certain is that the person in that car was not down to party. I don’t think I’d be down to party either. And, given the state of road rage these days – that being that it’s as common as a cloud in the sky – I’d probably flip my shit too. What’s particularly impressive about this throw, though, is the velocity and the accuracy. Full cans of beer can’t be that easy to throw – I mean, they’re awkward, they’re wet, and with the booze sloshing around inside, it really throws the weight distribution off. It takes real skill to be able to do what this person did in breaking this party bro’s nose.
Wait – I think I’m having an epiphany. Does anyone know the whereabouts of Ryan Tannehill at the time this video was recorded?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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