We’ve all been there. You’ve been out drinkin’ all night with the crew, it’s 3AM, and you just want a slice of pizza to cap the night off. But, you have the one friend who just HAS to jump behind the counter and start a violent war with the staff at the pizza parlor. Right? We all have that friend. Well, thankfully, somebody (who it sounds like never got their pizza) was there to film the whole thing, and now we get to enjoy. Get your popcorn ready.
— John Minko (@RakeATeener) July 26, 2021
Credit to the original post because they were out on the Twitter streets requesting credit from people sharing this and I’ve been there before and know how that feels. There’s a lot going on here – most of the time these drunken brawl videos are, by and large, harmless. But, this crew of pizza guys absolutely chose violence on these drunk ass fools. And, ya gotta know the dudes workin’ at the pizza shop at 3AM would probably rather be out drinking with their boys too! They’re probably not in the mood for your shit to begin with. Then, here come these guys in their black t-shirts, stumbling in, ready to start trouble. But, they made three critical mistakes.
- They engaged in combat, while drunk, against sober guys – sober guys remain undefeated against drunk guys. It’s just not a smart move. If both parties are drunk, that’s one thing. But, you just can’t be slizzard and throwing hands at sober people. They are going to beat your ass. So, black shirt crew immediately set themselves up for failure.
- They pushed the pizza boys on the pizza boys’ turf – you went into their house, where THEY know the terrain and the layout. THEY know how many more pizza boys they got in the back to come help when called upon. THEY know where the big pizza stick is to smack you with (seriously, that part was jarring). You’re just a sitting duck – this is a basic tactical error!
- Finally, they underestimated the pizza boys’ willingness to cross the line – you gotta know as soon as homeboy picks up a ladle and starts smacking people with it that you gotta get the hell out of Dodge because these pizza boys are willing to take things far to protect their territory. As soon as you see that in someone, you have to be willing to match it and just fight to the death, or concede and live to fight another die. One of the black shirt crew was smart enough to realize that and got out of the way. But, I’ll give that guy credit – no man left behind – he went back in to try and help his boys. Still, this all could’ve been avoided had they NOT ignored these three mistakes.
This is an all-timer in my opinion. You rarely get real donnybrooks like this on camera. It reminds me of the time that dude got chokeslammed in a restaurant. Just breathtaking. Also it makes this thing a whole lot easier that each team was wearing matching shirts. I mean, it makes sense for all the pizza boys to be wearing the same shirt, but why the other guys had matching shirts is beyond me. Again…weird move, but it did make breaking this video down easier.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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