Shout out to Madison Vanderberg for this awesome summation of this weird trend some celebrities are getting in on. I’ve been meaning to weigh in on this important topic of American journalism, but just haven’t found the right way to get in on the conversation until now. You got Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher talking about how little they bathe their child. And, you got Jake Gyllenhaal talking about how bathing doesn’t seem so necessary. I get Kunis and Kutcher’s perspective a bit – like, unless your young’ins are running around stinkin’ up the joint, you probably don’t have to scrub ’em down all that much. I still think it’s gross to not shower once a day, don’t get me wrong – but while I’m not a parent, I’ve known plenty of parents that have lost track of their kid’s last bath and have given ’em the ol’ smell test to see if they need one. Happens to everyone, right? What I don’t get is Gyllenhaal, who has NO kids, coming out and talking about how we clean ourselves naturally and bathing isn’t that necessary (you should at least wash your face, groin, and underarms daily). Thankfully, we found out over the weekend that our hero and Presidential candidate for 2024, Dwayne Johnson, is not among those, and actually takes three showers a day (one of them cold).
Nothing weird about this, my friend.
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) August 8, 2021
I workout twice a day and then I go to work for 12+ hours.
I shower 3xs.
Easy to understand.
This is the power of Twitter. You just have a direct line to celebrities, and sometimes, they respond. I’m in no position to speak for Dwayne Johnson, but I’d be willing to bet that he saw this trend and knew that, as a Presidential candidate for 2024, had to weigh in and let us normal workin’ folks that he is on the side of showering. To win the Presidency, you have to be able to appeal to the blue collar people of the country, who also believe in bathing. None of this la la land lunacy, in which these celebrities are privileged enough to not take showers and people will still like them because they’re famous. And, realIy…I was about to say – if this man comes out and says he doesn’t shower all that often, then we have a real problem on our hands with these celebrities. I’m pretty sure Johnson is sweating from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed. There ain’t no one in Hollywood with as much literal sweat equity in the game as this man. That would mean that if he didn’t shower regularly, he would probably smell like Bigfoot’s dick regularly, too.
Also, DJ, I absolutely love your tequila. The fine folks at the fine dining establishment, Applebee’s, make a mean margarita with it and now I’ll be searching for it in Nashville-area liquor stores to procure a bottle for my home bar. Well done, bravo!
Applebee’s is all in on DJ’s tequila pic.twitter.com/zjKmGHwvUQ
— Stoney Keeley (@StoneyKeeley) August 7, 2021
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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