Man, young people do some dumb shit. I’m so glad the internet wasn’t what it is today when I was a kid. I remember being young once, and you’re filled with all of these weird hormones that you don’t understand. You haven’t acquired the social skills to learn how to properly communicate with people. You’re just this walking bag of emotion that can barely express yourself. Sometimes, we do really regrettable things as teenagers because we don’t quite yet understand the consequences of our actions. Or, we just don’t know any better. Take this kid, for example – we don’t really know any of the context of this clip, but we find ourselves standing outside a Panda Express, and he is about to profess his love for this girl, when (I’m assuming) her boyfriend throws an absolute anvil on him.
Imagine getting stunned up by flat Stanley pic.twitter.com/81XrnkCyEf
— Yall hear that (@BloodsareCrips) July 25, 2021
I tell ya hwhat – I’ve been practically living on the internet for the last eight years of my life. Punches like this only come around so often. That shit was accurate, it was impactful, and it sounded like someone dropped a bag of sand off the pedestrian bridge and into the Cumberland River. I cringed so hard at this – “excuse me I have something really important to tell you.” What is this? A sales pitch? I don’t know if he could sense imminent danger or what, but he’s trying to say something eloquent and romantic….”the moment I saw you, my eyes...” Then, mid-sentence, he just cuts to the chase with “omg I love you.”
The resolve on this kid throwing the punch, though. I wonder if maybe this has been an issue between these two (or should I say, three) before or something, because homie in the overalls sees where this is going, calmly puts down his slushie, and then swings for the motherfucking fences. By the way, can we talk about the drip for a minute? Look at those overalls and that striped shirt. It’s no wonder she chose him.
For me, it’s the puke sound that really puts this clip over the top. Listen to the sound that comes out of this kid’s mouth when he gets socked in the face. It sounds like he puked a little. And, bro – in conclusion, if you’re reading this, you need to know you’ve taken a massive L when the girl you’re trying to win over simply looks away as you’re about to get your face caved in. My heart goes out to this kid – no doubt his heart is hurting, but I would imagine his face is hurting even more.
Oh, and nothing says romance like confessing your love for someone at the Panda Express.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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