I would like to start this blog off by saying that no Eli Gold slander will be tolerated on this website. Eli Gold is an outright legend in the broadcast game, and his voice is among the most comforting sounds in the world. Nothing puts my heart at ease quite like sitting on the back porch, enjoying a nice cool Fall golden hour, and hearing the old-timey announcer voice of Mr. Gold. So, Roll damn Tide on that. I make no apologies for my homerism. I dig it.
Now, I can certainly understand how fans of opposing teams who are relishing the Tide’s loss on Saturday would be rubbed the wrong way by Mr. Gold’s call here as the Aggies took down the nation’s top-ranked team on Saturday evening, but personally, I am here for it.
As, uh, "called' on Alabama radio: pic.twitter.com/zZP4Unlfsn
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 10, 2021
There we go, Eli – take that last dig at the Aggies before we get on out of here. I absolutely love it – I know it’s going to irritate a whole lot of people, but I am not one of those folks. I am the worst sore loser in the world, so this is right up my alley. As soon as I noticed I’ve lost the game, I’m going to be the one flipping the Monopoly board over. You beat me? No, I beat me – you don’t get any credit. Friends and family hate playing games with me, and while most people would say that’s a toxic trait, I say “GOOD. FEAR ME!”
That’s an exaggeration, but I thought it was pretty funny so I left it in. Welcome to SoBros Network if you’ve never been here before. Anyway, I would say if you’re not into the homer talk, then why the hell are you listening to Mr. Gold anyway? I mean, ffs you know that is the voice of the Alabama Crimson Tide. You can listen to him for five seconds and know he’s a homer. But, spoiler alert: that’s why we love him. Every team in the country has a broadcaster like him (just not as good). So, to act so shocked and appalled by this, come on – get off your high horse. This is hilarious – he doesn’t even call the kick. Not so much as saying “it’s good.” He’s just silent for what feels like an eternity, and then points out that A&M is going to get fined. Always go down swinging. That’s the way. It’s salty. It’s vindictive. And, I love it. Let ’em know how entitled we are as Tide fans. If you don’t like it, eat shit.
Mr. Gold also happens to be the author of one of the best books on the history of the Crimson Tide that you’ll find out there. My aunt and uncle bought it for me as a Christmas gift several years ago, and I read it just about every August. So suck it, haters.
Roll Tide.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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