Tank the 401k Gambling Picks: 10/7/21

The team is trying to back above .500 - only way is to keep picking games!

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Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.

STAN’S PICKS

Gambling and life are dumb. With that said I LOVE the board this week. I’m just diving right in.

Coastal Carolina -19.5 – first college to send me an acceptance letter.
Wake Forest -6 – this is a trap. I’m falling for it.
Mich St -5.5 – if Rutgers covers I’m going to be angry. This line is weird.
Rams/Seahawks under 55 – everything about this game says points so I’m going the opposite.
Titans -4.5 – If they don’t cover, they are officially in the running for worst team in the league.

Steven’s Picks

My picks are late because I was too busy celebrating my first winning week of the season on top of covering the Nashville Film Festival. Reverse psychology worked like a MoFo last week so let’s keep this train rolling, rolling, rolling.I’m a week removed from having a bone graft done in my mouth and I’m all out of meds so I made these picks on my way down so take them for what they’re worth.Keep on rolling, baby

Michigan St. -5.5
SMU -13.5
UCONN -3.5
Green Bay -3
Dallas -7

Stoney’s Picks

Well, I was dead wrong on the Broncos, and that Vandy-UConn game was like a black hole of logic and reason. Otherwise, it felt good to get back to my winning ways. Unlike Stan, though, I fucking HATE this week’s board. Just a whole lot of ‘stay the hell away from that.’ But, Stan – I’m happy you’re happy.

BYU -5 – This is my lock of the week, even though we don’t do ‘lock of the week’ kinda bullshit. I love the way BYU is playing right now. They’re battle-tested and look every bit the top 10 team that they are. If you’re betting Boise State in this one, you’re betting on the Boise State brand. I am putting my left nut on BYU in this spot.
Bills +3 – I know that it’s prime time, and it’s Patrick Mahomes. But, I love the way the Bills defense clogs up the line of scrimmage. This offense has found its chemistry, and they’ve had two tune-up games in preparation for them going out there on Sunday Night Football and reminding the world of just who the hell the Buffalo Bills are.
Jets +3 – I feel like a damned lunatic for this one. What if the Jets figured it out last week? What if that was the catalyst to kickstart the Zach Wilson era? I absolutely LOVE that defensive front, and think it gets to Matt Ryan in London.
Saints -2.5 – There’s a bit of Jekyll & Hyde with this team, but I just can’t see ’em laying two duds in a row. The Football Team’s defense is nowhere near what we thought it’d be, and I think the Saints can handle business in this spot.
Vols -10.5 – Can’t believe I’m buying in on a double digit spread with the Vols but hot damn, I loved this team figuring out the offense and heaving bombs at the scoreboard in Columbia last week. Also, it helps their case that South Carolina is hot ass garbage.

SEASON STATS

Stan last week: (1-4)
Stan’s 2021 W-L: (12-12-1) – 50%
Steven last week: (3-2)
Steven’s 2021 W-L: (8-14-3) – 36%
Stoney last week: (3-2)
Stoney’s 2021 W-L: (11-14) – 44%
SoBros last week: (7-8) – 47%
SoBros 2021 W-L: (31-40-4) – 43.7%

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley